Ranting For A Revolution

Less than 10 years until I should no longer wear a mini-skirt.

2011-06-30T16:29:00.000-07:00

This is some bullshit. A recent survey – not an article, a survey – of 2,000 women ages 18-65 revealed widely-held beliefs regarding the ages women should retire certain articles of clothing, as to not look “inappropriate”:

Mini-skirts: 35
Two-piece swimsuits: 47
Tube tops: 33
Leather pants: 34
Belly-button piercings: 35
Sheer chiffon blouses: 40
Sneakers and tight tanks: 44
Leggings and UGGs: 45
Knee-high boots: 47
Stilettos: 51
Ponytails: 51
Long hair: 53
Swimsuits (in general): 61

So…….I shouldn’t be wearing sneakers after age 44…or just sneakers paired with “tight” tanks? Apparently, I have no business swimming in my 60s.

And here’s the kicker: half the women surveyed said women who are slim, healthy, and attractive in their 50s and 60s can "get away with anything." Translation: Cindy Crawford and Jerry Hall can wear what they want – YOU cannot, you old bat. (“Bat” can be interchanged with “crone,” “hag” or “fattie”)

In addition:

* 44% of women regularly worry they are too old to wear certain items of clothing.

* 1 in 10 women have bought something only to take it back to the shop, amid fears it was “too young” for them.
* 5% of those polled said a shop assistant had warned them an item wasn't right for their age.

Unfortunately, it’s clear that appearance snobbery is not limited to the halls of high school. Why all these self-imposed “rules” on women by women? Really, would the world turn into that much of a cesspool if women wear – gasp – what they want without fear of being judged? Aren't we all a little happier when we wear things that make us feel good?

Interestingly enough, the survey was commissioned by Diet Chef, a mail order frozen food service out of the UK…much like Nutrisystem. So I guess if you utilize Diet Chef’s services, you can be well on your way to wearing whatever the fuck you want.

In a lackluster attempt at making this survey seem less disturbing, Diet Chef nutritionist Caron Leckie says, "It's up to individuals to choose when they should stop wearing certain items. Some women may be comfortable in a bikini at the age of 65, whereas the more self-conscious may want to stop much earlier—it's very much personal choice."

Yes, that’s right – it is a personal choice, Ms. Leckie. Which is why I don’t particularly care for UGGs and tube tops. Now, what I want to know is why this ridiculous and semi-fucked up “survey” was even commissioned? How about we survey women about the federal debt crisis or the states’ war on family planning services? You know, shit that matters.

Ones

2011-06-18T14:46:00.001-07:00

My friend and I were talking last night about Ones. You know, do you only get one One and that's it? If doesn't work out, are you destined to forever be without another One? Or, if it didn't work out, were they in fact the One? Cliche, perhaps, but an issue that has been mulled over in some great shows like Flight of the Conchords and Sex and the City.

I got to thinking about this question in the wee hours of the morning, and I came to an interesting conclusion: we all have Ones. For instance, let me pull from a bit of my history:

The One who turned me into an absolute crazy person.

See? There's one. How about another:

The One who was so freakish and weird, I nearly contemplated suicide in an attempt to avoid him.

That's a long title, and seemingly difficult to live up to. I assure you, he had no trouble.

I should also point out that Ones can be several Ones. I will demonstrate:

The One with the very, very small penis was also the One who cheated. (makes sense)

See? Ones do not have to be mutally exclusive.

In all fairness, there are good Ones as well as bad Ones. Like the One who took care of me when I was sick. Maybe you have a One who inspired you to be a better person, or One you could talk to for hours.

You see, we all have Ones. Perhaps they're not all "great loves" but I'm sure we all thought them to be at one point.

H.R. 3 is baaaack.

2011-05-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

Back in January – a day after the Republican-led House of Reps (symbolically) voted in favor of repealing Health Care Reform – Rep. Chris Smith (R-NJ), introduced H.R. 3, the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act.” Smith is chairman of the House Pro-Life Caucus.

The House is scheduled to vote on this bill tomorrow.

What the bill would essentially do is make existing abortion restrictions permanent law; currently, those restrictions need to be renewed each year (via the Hyde Amendment). Smith said the bill is “designed to permanently end any U.S. government financial support for abortion, whether it be direct funding or by tax credits or any other subsidy."

H.R. 3 would also ban coverage of abortion in the new health-care exchange system and impose tax penalties on Americans with private insurance plans that include abortion coverage. Currently, 87% of private plans currently include abortion coverage.

Several amendments to the bill were introduced…and subsequently rejected by the House majority, such as an exemption for women with cancer who need life saving treatment incompatible with continuing the pregnancy.

Call the Capitol Switchboard at 202-224-3121 to be connected to your Representative!

H.R. 3 takes away health care access from the uninsured and moves our country backward, not forward. Low-income women and women of color will be disproportionately affected if this bill becomes law.

Feminist Flashback: She-Ra

2011-05-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

Thinking along the lines of previous posts such as Designing Me and Might Last A Day; Mine Is Forever, I was inspired to write about another piece of pop culture that shaped my childhood.

I fucking loved She-Ra. In kindergarten, I had the bright yellow lunchbox with her posse on front, several action figures, that pink-ass castle and even a talking toothbrush. For Christmas one year, my parents got me this “She-Ra set,” consisting of her bronzey plastic headdress (which left awful indentations on the sides of my face) and her sword. As a cape, I’d tie my Rainbow Brite beach towel around my neck, and proceed to repeatedly leap off the coffee table (oh, my poor mother).

At face value, She-Ra is a strong chick who kicks ass (He-Man’s sister, if you’re not familiar). Yay 80s for giving us such a cartoon heroine, especially for us girls who weren’t all that into My Little Pony.

A few years ago, I actually found (and bought) Season 1 of the series – but, when my friend and I sat down to watch it, we couldn’t get past the first episode. It was….kinda boring, with a lot of sci-fi mumbo jumbo. How did we ever follow this as children?? I kept telling myself that maybe the first season wasn’t the one I remember…it must get better…I have yet to seek out the second (and final) season. Maybe it’s because I’m not a big fan of all that is sci-fi. Seriously, read the Wikipedia page with She-Ra’s full bio. Leeetle crazy. Maybe some childhood loves should be left in childhood; to relive them is to destroy their magic.

Anyway, thinking about the series now – as an adult with a little more life experience than when I was, uh, 5 – I can see how maybe it wasn’t quite the feminist utopia I fondly remember.

One could argue that She-Ra was just a glorified Barbie. She was blonde, white, slender and wore one of those getups you couldn’t possibly fight in (how does her ample bosom stay in there?!). And riding a horse in a skirt? Please.

The Crystal Castle I had was a bright pink jewel resting atop some clouds – but it was really nothing more than a “dream house” without the modern efficiencies.

And come to think of it, everyone on that show was white. Contrary to popular belief: women with red, blue and purple hair do not count as “diversity.”

Shortcomings aside, at least She-Ra did shit other than drive a 57 Chevy, eat ice cream and hang out with Skipper and Midge. I’m no guru of present-day kids’ shows, but in terms of kick-ass female heroine shows in the likeness of She-Ra, no names come easily to mind. She-Ra was a heroine I was (and still am) happy to have had in my formative years. I can only hope we will see a new heroine – one even more kick-ass, who knows the meaning of “justice,” who has a diverse posse, fighting issues that are the underlying cause of our world’s decline – inspire current and future generations of young girls everywhere. Maybe two heroines? Yes, two or three would be cool. Too much to ask?

Oh my holy crap, this brings back memories:

Being in control of your sexual health? Tacky!!

2011-04-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

In a recent interview with Elle, Black-Eyed Pea will.i.am threw out this gem:

ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?
W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.

ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?
W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.” Another pet peeve is wet sinks.

Oh, that’s RIGHT, will – totally forgot that it’s unbecoming for a chick to protect herself. We should all just leave the prophylactic purchasing up to you dudes – or else we’ll look like the sluts that we are! After all, you don't bring condom-carrying gals home to meet mama.

So ladies, Mr. i.am says we must rid our living spaces of unused condoms before having male visitors. I'm wondering: if women shouldn’t buy condoms unless they’re with (chaperoned by) their SigOt – what to do with leftover condoms after a breakup? Perhaps will’s next venture will be condom exchange programs…

...and what of the boys?

2011-04-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

I’m morbidly curious about feminism backlash. The F word is still not considered very “cool” by mainstream standards – and if you should share your beliefs with others, more than likely they will tell you how “far women have come,” that women have just as many opportunities as men, and stop whining you dirty man-hating hippie.

While these are pretty apathetic and ignorant comments at best, there are far worse still floating around. Something that so many people claim to be “irrelevant” still conjures up a decent amount of defamatory statements.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve recently seen a rebirth of this classic anti-feminist argument: feminism hurts our men.

This is far from a new tactic, but puzzling how an idea so antiquated would rear its ugly head in 2011. Guess the right wing is out of new ideas....either that, or they’re too busy solving the problems of the economy – oh!

To summarize this school of thought: feminism is bad for [heterosexual] men because without traditional gender roles, men…..gosh darn it…..just….don’t know what to do! While women are advancing their education, in their professions, putting off marriage (or rejecting it altogether), and realizing they don’t need a man to ride in on his white horse and fix the toilet – this has somehow turned our men into immature, lost little boys. The Little Boy Syndrome then reinforces the desire for heterosexual women to not seek out a mate, since prospects swimming in the dating pool aren’t very appealing.

And, there goes the neighborhood. The traditional family is lost! Our morality is declining! The sanctity of marriage flushed down that toilet fixed by a female! Zomg.

The most recent and nauseating display of this anti-feminist backlash comes from Tea Party nutjob Allen West (R-FL). Here is what he told the attendees of a Women Impacting Nation (WIN) meeting last week:

Hmmm. Interesting. So, basically the proper role for women is seeing to it that we produce great men – whether it be through birthing them or sacrificing our Selves to make sure they have all they need to be great. If we women demand any type of self-respect or independence, we are in effect “castrating” our men.

And they wonder why we’re such angry types.

Seriously though, for the 6,746th time, feminism is not about “castrating” men, literally or figuratively (nice job at hijacking the message). It’s about mutual respect and having agency. In the words of bell hooks, “feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.”

Feminism is not detrimental to men – in fact, it’s just the opposite. Feminism supports dismantling repressive gender roles, putting an end to required “machismo” and the like. Both sexes are free to pursue interests that are not traditionally in line with their gender. Women and men share the responsibilities of providing for the household. Feminism intersects with issues like race and class and seeks to eradicate their respective -isms.

The fact that Rep. West’s argument paints a picture of men as so god damn incompetent should be just as insulting to them as it is to women. Feminism does not preach that men are inherently incompetent – however, if a man does feel incompetent due to the presence of strong women, that problem lies within the individual (coughAllenWestcough).

No, we liberal "Planned Parenthood Code Pink women" are not the problem – we are the solution.

And please read more bell hooks.

Today is Denim Day in L.A.

2011-04-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

For the majority of us, jeans are a staple of our daily uniform (or, for the rest of us, something to look forward to on Casual Fridays). Today, April 27, jeans have a deeper meaning...

via Peace Over Violence:

Italy, 1990s: An 18-year old girl is picked up by her married 45-year old driving instructor for her very first lesson. He takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and forcefully rapes her. Threatened with death if she tells anyone, he makes her drive the car home. Later that night she tells her parents, and they help and support her to press charges. The perpetrator gets arrested and is prosecuted. He is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail.

He appeals the sentence. The case makes it all the way to the Italian Supreme Court. Within a matter of days the case against the driving instructor is overturned, dismissed, and the perpetrator released. In a statement by the Chief Judge, he argued, “because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans, it was no longer rape but consensual sex.”

Enraged by the verdict, within a matter of hours the women in the Italian Parliament launched into immediate action and protested by wearing jeans to work. This call to action motivated and emboldened the California Senate and Assembly to do the same, which in turn spread to Patricia Giggans, Executive Director of Peace Over Violence, and Denim Day in LA was born. The first Denim Day in LA was in April 1999, and has continued every year since.

http://www.denimdayinla.org/

Louisiana Loonies, a Weakened Roe, and the Case for Reproductive Justice

2011-04-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

A while back, I had asked readers how much time (in prison) a woman should do if she decides to end her pregnancy. Four years later, reproductive justice advocates are asking the same question – only, today’s societal climate feels much more threatening, ominous and just plain evil.

“[Louisiana] State Rep. John LaBruzzo, a Republican from Metairie, has introduced a bill that would ban all abortions in his state—with no exceptions for rape, incest, or the life of the mother—and charge women who seek abortions and the doctors who perform those abortions with ‘feticide.’" (Please refer to #7 of The Unsexy 17 in my previous post, “States Gone Wild”).

The Louisiana Code for feticide reads, “The killing of an unborn child when the offender has a specific intent to kill or to inflict great bodily harm” and carries a prison sentence of 15 years plus hard labor. LaBruzzo claims the verbiage of prosecuting women on "feticide" charges for having abortions was a "mis-draft," and would make the bill too hard to pass. He says that provision will be removed from the bill before it goes to a committee vote.

Call me a skeptic, but I wouldn’t bank on the removal of the language – or that language making the bill “too difficult” to pass the state legislature. After all, this is Louisiana we’re talking about; the state is already fertile ground for the most extreme anti-abortion laws in the country. Yes, LA is also one of those states with “trigger laws,” criminalizing abortion immediately should Roe ever be overturned. Removing the provision would only shift the onus from the woman to the providers.

So, we shouldn’t at all be surprised that LaBruzzo is apparently working in cahoots with an “unnamed conservative religious group,” whose main goal is to invalidate Roe v. Wade.

Roe has overcome some serious opposition in the past – but times they are a-changin’. The last Supreme Court case to challenge Roe was Carhart v. Gonzalez in 2007, and ultimately restricted abortion access by upholding the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003.

With Justice Anthony Kennedy as a swing vote in the abortion debate, increasing numbers of anti-choice governors, and the influx of socially conservative Tea Party nutjobs in Congress – the fight for Roe seems to be a train we’re not so quick to board this time around.

I am a woman who is fortunate to not know a world before Roe, and I sure as hell don’t want it any different. But look around today, and it’s almost as if the landmark Supreme Court case never existed. Take the recent story of J.M.S., the young woman in Utah who became pregnant at 17 by a convicted felon. J.M.S. paid a stranger $150 to beat her in order to induce a miscarriage. Not only does this show us what lengths women will go to end an unwanted pregnancy, but it shows why we don’t only need reproductive rights, but reproductive justice. You’ll see what I mean:

The convicted felon is “facing charges of using J.M.S. and another underage girl to make pornography. J.M.S. lived in a house without electricity or running water in a remote part of Utah. Even if she could have obtained the required parental consent and scraped together money for an abortion and a couple of nights in a hotel to comply with Utah’s twenty-four-hour waiting period, simply getting to the nearest clinic posed an enormous challenge. Salt Lake City is more than a three-hour drive from her town, twice that in bad weather, when snow makes the mountain passes treacherous. There is no public transportation, and she didn’t have a driver’s license.”

Reproductive justice is about access. We can have all the laws in our favor and more rights than we can shake a stick at – it doesn’t mean shit if there is no access. And by “access,” I mean access for ALL, not just those who are privileged enough to afford it. Waiting periods leave women in the dark who cannot afford travel/room and board. What about women who do not have their own source of transportation? And what if there is no public transportation? Childcare? Parental consent laws forget about young women who might not have living/present parents – or those who are pregnant because of a parent or relative. Repro justice shows how repro health intersects with many other issues such as poverty, education and the environment.

That being said, I wish this turned out to be a more positive post. Sadly, the majority of what we’re seeing on a daily basis is state legislators introducing bills that capitalize off our lack of justice – regardless of the contended law of the land.

States Gone Wild!

2011-04-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

No, this is not a new DVD. Instead of being titillating, I would say it’s pretty damn infuriating. Riding the coattails of their GOP/Tea leaders in Congress, many state lawmakers have been spending their time pushing through anti-women’s health legislation. Because, really, that’s the answer to unemployment, poverty and rising healthcare costs. Duh!

According to NARAL Pro-Choice America, last November’s election gave us 8 more anti-choice governors, taking the final count from 21 to 29. The number of states with straight-up anti-choice governments (meaning both legislative houses and the governor are unfriendly) increased from 10 to 15.

Despite the fact that a majority of Americans support family planning services – including a woman’s right to choose – our state leadership is not reflecting this. Trying to find an organized, updated list or map of the nonsense cropping up across the nation is rather difficult; probably because things are happening Ludicrous Speed.

So, here are the fruits of my research (many thanks to National Women’s Partnership for their Daily Women’s Health Policy Reports). And, just like Apple products, by the time y’all read this, it will probably be outdated. After perusing this laundry list of legislation, I’m sure most of us would prefer to see a full-length feature of state legislators participating in inebriated spring break behavior…

The Unsexy 17:

1. Arizona: Passed HB 2442, making it a felony for health professionals to provide abortion care if they suspect a woman is seeking the procedure because of the race or gender of the fetus. It would not penalize the woman; only the physician. This is the first law of its kind in the U.S., and opponents maintain that there is no such evidence of racial/gendered abortions occurring in Arizona.

Gov. Jan Brewer also signed HB 2416/SB 1246, requiring every woman seeking an abortion to have an ultrasound and listen to the heartbeat, if audible.

2. Florida: Eighteen (yes, 18) anti-choice bills have been filed in the state legislature. Measures range from providing funds for crisis pregnancy centers to a complete abortion ban in the state – even in cases of rape and incest.

3. Idaho: Republican Gov. C.L. "Butch" Otter (yes, “Butch”) signed into law SB 1148, making it a felony for a physician to provide abortion care after 20 weeks of pregnancy (except when the woman's life is in danger) based on the theory of fetal pain.

4. Indiana: Senate Health Committee approved SB 328 based on the supporters' claim that a fetus might feel pain at or before 20 weeks.

5. Iowa: House approved HF 657, banning abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy, based again on fetal pain. The bill now moves to the Senate.

6. Kansas: Not one, not two, but three bills surfaced in the Sunflower State. First, Gov. Sam Brownbeck (R) signed two bills into law: HB 2218, prohibiting abortions after 21 weeks of pregnancy with the exception of life endangerment. It also removes the current law’s exception for mental and emotional reasons. The second bill is HB 2035, requiring minors to obtain consent from both parents before receiving abortion services.

The third anti-abortion bill on deck is the House substitute for SB 36, which would require abortion clinics to comply with a series of medical standards and practices. In addition, the bill states that a “female observer” must be present during any abortion services or pelvic exams provided by a male doctor at an abortion facility; doctors providing abortion services must obtain admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles of their clinics; hospitals or surgical centers must register as abortion clinics if they provide more than five first-trimester abortions in a month; and any deaths linked to abortion complications must be reported to the state within one business day; reports of any injuries must be filed within 10 days. Democratic Rep. Judith Loganbill, questioned why these standards are being mandated for abortion clinics, but not for other surgical outpatient facilities. Another highly disputed provision of the bill requires a woman be in the presence of a physician when taking mifepristone, the medication used to induce abortion.

7. Louisiana: State Rep. John LaBruzzo (R) recently filed HB 587 that would prohibit "all abortions at any and all stages of the unborn child's development" and allow charges of "feticide" against abortion providers as well as women. LaBruzzo said he introduced the legislation at the urging of a conservative religious group (which he left unnamed) and the aim of the bill is to prompt a court case to challenge Roe v. Wade.

8. Minnesota: Senate Health and Human Services Committee approved SF 711, which prohibits abortion after 20 weeks gestation with no exceptions for rape, incest or mental health. The bill would allow abortion beyond 20 weeks to save a woman's life or to prevent irreversible physical harm to the woman.

The second measure approved is SF 264, barring state-funded health programs from funding abortion services.

A third Senate bill SF 1017, would require parental consent before minors can obtain care related to contraceptives, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and drug or alcohol abuse, unless the health condition is life-threatening. Fortunately, Democratic Gov. Mark Dayton (D) supports abortion rights, is not likely to sign any of these.

9. Mississippi: On June 6, the Mississippi Supreme Court is scheduled to hear oral arguments in a pre-emptive court challenge against Measure 26, a ballot question that would define a person as a “human being from the moment of fertilization.”

10. Missouri: House approved HB 213, a bill that bans abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy with an exception for the life of the mother. It would require providers to determine if the fetus could survive outside the womb before performing a termination. The bill now moves to the Senate.

11. Ohio: House Health and Aging Committee approved HB 125, a bill that would require physicians to deny women abortion procedures if a heartbeat can be detected from an ultrasound. Ohio House Speaker William Batchelder (R) has said he wants to consult with experts before moving the bill to the full House.

12. Oklahoma: Gov. Mary Fallin signed HB 1888, making it a felony for doctors to perform abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy, based on the theory of fetal pain. The bill includes an exception for life/“major bodily function” endangerment, but does not include any exceptions for fetal abnormalities.

She also signed SB 547, a bill that prohibits health insurance plans sold in state exchanges from covering abortion services

13. Pennsylvania: The state House Health Committee voted 19-4 to pass a bill that would require clinics providing abortion services to meet the same safety standards as outpatient surgery centers. The American Civil Liberties Union said PA law already contains guidelines for abortion clinics regarding equipment, staff, emergency transfers to hospitals, counseling and reporting. The bill would require costly changes at the clinics, which could force many of them to close, impacting poor women and women who reside in rural areas.

14. South Carolina: House approves H 3406, a bill that would ban private coverage of abortion care in plans purchased in the new state insurance exchange. Women who want abortion coverage will have to purchase it separately. In addition, the bill would expand the state’s conscience clause to include euthanasia, cloning and stem cell research. Physicians would be allowed to opt out of providing such services (including abortion) if they conflict with their religious beliefs.

15. South Dakota: Passed HB 1217, mandating a 72-hour waiting period before an abortion procedure. The law will go into effect July 1 and impose the longest waiting period in the U.S. HB 1217 also requires a woman to receive counseling from a crisis pregnancy center (notoriously anti-choice) before she can obtain services. There are no exceptions for rape and incest – only “emergencies”. There are many talks of challenges to the law, including a possible injunction by Planned Parenthood of South Dakota. Nancy Northrup, President of the Center for Reproductive Rights, points out how requiring women to disclose medical information to third parties who are not physicians is a violation of medical privacy laws. The ACLU has also threatened to bring a lawsuit against the state.

16. Texas: State Senate Committee on State Affairs approved a compromise bill between a House and Senate version of a sonogram bill. The final bill requires a woman see the sonogram, have her listen to the fetal heartbeat and hear a description of the ultrasound in detail before her procedure. The compromise also includes exemptions in cases of rape, incest or instances where the fetus is not expected to survive. The measure also exempts women in rural areas from waiting 24 hours.

17. Virginia: Passed HB 1428, becoming the first state to require abortion clinics to comply with hospital standards. Currently, clinics are licensed by the state and are treated like physician offices, similar to those that provide plastic and corrective eye surgeries, colonoscopies and a range of other outpatient medical procedures. Virginia is the first state to adopt such a requirement, which could include making structural changes to the buildings, making certain equipment mandatory, or increasing training. Opponents of the bill say that it could force up to 17 of the state's 21 abortion clinics to close. Public comment will be heard before the rules are adopted on Sept. 15; the law takes effect Jan. 1, 2012.

In addition, Virginia is another state that will prohibit abortion from being covered under any health insurance plans offered in the state exchange. Governor Robert McDonnell added this amendment to a bill already passed by the General Assembly, establishing insurance exchanges as part of health care reform.

And, done.

Bloggin' and Schemin'

2011-04-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

Good lord, it must really look like I was incredibly crushed over Sex and the City’s decline of epic proportions – almost one full year with no posts! Yes, I quickly got over my disappointment and now follow my amazing friend Holly’s blog Back On Carrie’s Stoop, reliving the good ol’days and examining the series with a different set of lenses: one that knows what’s coming.

So, for the past 10 months I’ve been dealing with life sans blog. Although I’m notorious for crowding my back burners, I always end up coming back to R4R because…really, nothing I could possibly do in my professional or personal life gives me as much satisfaction as being able to create something on my own terms. No board members, no stakeholders, no supervisors, no editors – just me. (Cue sinister laugh)

Truth be told, the thought of blogging again almost became a tad overwhelming. With all the wretched nonsense happening on the women’s health/reproductive justice front, I didn’t know where to start. As soon as I had an idea of where to start, more nonsense would fall from the sky and my head would explode once again (rightfully so).

Since I last logged into R4R, our U.S. House has been taken over by wackadoos who see fighting the culture wars as reeeaaally, reeeaaally important right now – despite the fact that our economy is in the shitter. Newly (and no so newly) elected wackadoos across the nation are masquerading their sexist/racist/classist/ableist agenda as – ahem – “fiscal responsibility”. Explain to me the logic, asshats, of how eliminating programs that help keep low-income folks afloat will be better for our economy…while letting those top 2% income earners sit on their fat assets??

Oooh, I’m getting angry! How I missed blogging! A few more thoughts:

* I find it incredibly ignorant – no, I mean stupid – that wackadoo legislators can stand on the SENATE FLOOR and give outright FALSE statistics about Planned Parenthood…and wake up the next morning with their jobs intact. If I came into work spewing lies and disseminating them on our listservs, I’d be gainfully employed no more. Just because PP is considered “controversial”, it’s ok to not pay attention to facts?! Who does your research?! (You do know what research is, don’t you?) Oh, and the fact that it’s considered “controversial” is only because of your verbal shit-tactics – not because of any truth.

* Recently, I found out from Glenn Beck that I’m a hooker. Apparently, so are ALL of my female friends…and a few of my male friends, as well. He also informed me that if birth control is too expensive, we should quit crying about it and just use condoms. While I am tickled that GB is advocating condom use, I will assume (with good reason) that if said condom were to break (with no backup method), I would no longer be considered a responsible woman, but a stupid “tough luck!” whore.

* If Donald Trump really wants to help America, he should write the U.S. Gov’t a check and go hide under a rock. I’ve seen and heard more from him in the past few weeks than I care to EVER. (And I thought I could avoid his “my-mother-breast-fed-me-with-a-lemon-face” by simply not watching The Apprentice. Joke’s on me!)

* What the hell is happening in the states?! Last I checked, we had this thing called Roe v. Wade…(more on this later…)

* Congressman Bob (Wackadoo) Latta of Ohio wants to ax funding for the Personal Responsibility Education Program (PREP) under the guise of being “fiscally responsible”….but how dare we talk about cutting funding for abstinence-only education, which has PROVEN to be….um….not working and not based on any…….how do you call it?……evidence.

Sigh.

End of an Era: Confirmed

2010-06-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

SPOILER ALERT! Well, can it actually be a spoiler alert when I’m certain I was part of the last audience on Earth to see Sex and the City 2? If you haven’t seen it, and don’t care to read anything about it until it quickly and quietly makes its way to DVD, then avert your eyes. But let it be known that many have spoiled before me – I am not alone in my spoiling!

It was definitely cringe-worthy, just as I suspected. But truth be told, I expected much worse. Maybe it was because I had spoiled it for myself by previously reading about the horrid displays of Samantha, dry-humping the Abu Dhabi air in front of an angry mob of Muslim gentlemen; by already knowing that Carrie has never seen anything more hilarious than a woman in a burqa eating french fries.

Let’s break this down into Lisa’s List of Pros and Cons. You’ll notice some of these aspects appear on both lists…

ME LIKEY:

The Gay Wedding. I enjoy when popular media can show a gay or lesbian couple get hitched like it ain’t no thang. It’s like viewing the utopia our society could be, if only some lawmakers were to either a.) pull the sticks out of their asses, or b.) keel over and die.

The Motherhood Talk. Over drinks, Miranda and Charlotte admit all the not-so-happy parts of motherhood. No, it’s not all goo-goo gaa-gaa Gerber; sometimes Charlotte is so frazzled, she wants to lock herself in a closet while her children scream and cry. This is reality; this is the shit people forget about when they get all wrapped up in baby fever. This is a job that lasts a lifetime.

Just Us Two. Carrie and Big have mutually decided to not have children (Thank god! Remember when she lost Aidan’s dog??!). Seriously though, as they tell others of their wishes to remain childless, they are bombarded with quizzical looks and outright avoidance. So….just because a married couple doesn’t want to have kids, there’s something wrong with them? (Well, maybe according to the Christian Coalition). I say, poo on the naysayers! Carrie and Big make their marriage (life together) work for them – not simply go though the motions that society expects them to.

Also, we see Carrie and Big’s marriage hit “the terrible twos”: the span of time where the excitement of being newlyweds is over and forever begins to take shape. “Mr. and Mrs. Preston, this is your life!” Especially since kids are out of the picture, the life they have now will be it. We see Big preferring to order take-out and fall asleep to The Discovery Channel, while Carrie is itching to dress up and have a night out on the town. These “terrible twos” bring the fear of becoming…(ominous music)…an old boring married couple (OBMC). This is one of those life experiences many people go through, yet not many talk about publicly (much like Miranda and Charlotte’s motherhood discussion). I’m going to bet at least 90% of couples don’t want to seclude themselves in their split level suburban home or upper west side apartment as soon as they return from their honeymoon….yet, there’s this expectation floating around (and if I ever find out who started this ugly rumor, I will have them killed) that once you’re married, you’re supposed to do just that. No more nights out with the girls or boys, no more having one too many cocktails (oops!), no more…fun. This “expectation” also dictates that if you desire a night out with the girls or boys or otherwise away from your spouse, you must not be happy with your marriage. Horseshit, I say! Welcome to 2010, where there is more to a happy marriage than just the act of being married. Two people with full lives make for a very non-boring partnership. Try it, I dare you. And while of course in Hollywood, Carrie and Big magically squash their OBMC fear in 2.5 hours, I’m at least glad SATC stayed a little true to its roots and attempted to shed light on an issue such as this.

NO ME GUSTA!

The Gay Wedding. Although it was here and very, very queer, we were constantly reminded that it was a GAY wedding. A wedding is a wedding – who cares? Why do we need the adjective? Also, I really could have done without hearing that fucking Single Ladies song again…uncomfortably done by Liza Minnelli. And to see Samantha dancing around, singing, “If ya like it, than you shoulda put a ring on it” was quite weird and totally out of character.

The Motherhood Talk. Sure, Miranda and Charlotte were addressing the less glamorous side of being a mom…but we’re watching two upper-class white women with NANNIES addressing this topic. Then, they had to throw in, “How do the women without help do it?!” On one hand, it’s a valid question that shows how hard motherhood is even with hired help – but one can’t argue the asinine element of that conversation. Oh hello, white privilege, where have you been hiding?

Pointing at the Natives. I mentioned Carrie making fun of the women in burqas and Samantha refusing to respect the conservative Muslim culture in any way. It’s really quite horrifying. Although (and this may be a good aspect), it reignites the debate of what qualifies as being an empowered woman. Is wearing a sleeveless dress and being highly sexual mean you are any stronger of a female than a woman who wears a burqa? It’s a drastically different way of life than what we westerners are used to…and of course, anything we deem as different from our way is the “wrong” way.

What I found somewhat humorous – as well as appalling – was when the women of Abu Dhabi were behind closed doors, they reveal to Carrie ‘n’ friends that they wear the latest Dior fashions under their burqas. So….deep down, they’re all really slaves to exorbitant western fashion?? Highly unlikely…and a little egocentric, no? At the same time, it could have been Michael Patrick King’s demented way of showing that women around the world may have more in common than not. Call me picky, but somehow I think it could have been done more meaningfully than simply wrapping them up in Dolce.

The Sickening Display of Affluence. Ok, you gals have money. We get it. Sometimes we wonder how you manage to make the money you have, with all the lunch dates, late night cocktails, etc. This international trip happened to be financed by a hotel mogul in exchange for Samantha’s PR expertise. However, an hour into the movie, I was sick and tired of looking at that fucking $20,000 a night (no lie) hotel room. Each woman had her own personal servant and car complete with driver. Oh, and they ride in the middle of the desert on camels and stop for lunch in this oasis cabana their servants set up! I, for one, was wondering where the hell they put all that stuff. Some poor camel was probably stuck in the back of the caravan pathetically lugging their bullshit.

Too much! I guess what added to it was the ladies’ squealing at each amenity. Got old real fast. What set the tone for excess was Samantha’s comment of needing to “go somewhere rich” in this depressing economy. NYC ain’t swank enough for you no more?

Sigh. I could go on. There’s Carrie’s servant, who shares that his wife lives in another country. We learn that he only sees her once every three months because he needs this job serving rich white tourists in this $20,000 a night hotel. That’s the end of any cultural or political questions – Carrie (given her tensions with Big) wants to know how they keep their marriage strong with such distance.

It was one of those movies I had to see, as opposed to want to see. My, how we have strayed from the series! If you can accept that this is not Carrie ‘n’ friends circa 1999, and can get past the awfully cliché zingers, Godspeed.

Designing Me

2010-06-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany last week. Still not sure if that’s the correct word to describe it. It was a feeling that only comes when you’ve lived a certain number of years, long enough to have the ability to see the girl you were 17 years ago; to understand her and know what made her the person she is today; to witness firsthand how what we’re exposed to in our formative years impacts our beliefs, worldviews, who we are in a not-so-perfect nutshell. Epiphanies are much cheaper than therapy; too bad you can’t schedule them like sessions.

For the longest time, I was super-excited to find that the seasons of Designing Women were being released on DVD. I can remember watching episode after episode of that show when I was a wee little thing attending elementary school at St. Catherine of Sienna. My viewing pleasure continued into junior high as I entered the public school system, and began to learn that kids aren’t so nice. At age 12, I guess I seemed pretty weird – enjoying movies made before 1960 and watching TV shows that centered around women in their 30s and 40s. My great-aunt would say I was “of a different era.” That sounded nice, but really didn’t solve my problem of being a weirdo to my fellow classmates.

So, the other day I treated myself and bought Season 2. I couldn’t wait to get home, fight with the NASA-sealed packaging, and re-live those episodes to which I can still recite some dialogue.

For those of you who missed out on watching Lifetime reruns in your youth, Designing Women ran from 1986-1993 and followed the comedic lives of four southern women working for Sugarbaker Interior Design. Julia Sugarbaker (that’s right, she owns her own damn business!) is a classy, strong, sophisticated, well-read, widowed woman of the “old south” – and a self-proclaimed “big-mouthed broad.” Her monologues are things of beauty that I really can’t describe with any justice. Just watch people try to cross her, or make an ignorant comment…they leave the scene with their tail between their legs.

Suzanne Sugarbaker, Julia’s sister, is her polar opposite. Former Miss Georgia World, her glass case of tiaras is enough to make Tiffany’s look like Claire’s. The only collection to rival her pageant crowns is her collection of ex-husbands. Very “Elizabeth Taylor.” Suzanne is selfish, self-centered, and spends more time looking in the mirror than…anything, really. We’re never quite sure what she even does for Sugarbaker’s – she’s usually seen lounging on the sofa. Despite her fluffy lifestyle and vanity, Suzanne is depicted in such a way that makes her loveable. Her selfishness comes from her own ignorance, not from any malicious intent.

Mary Jo Shively is a divorced mother of two, dealing with her surgeon ex-husband’s revolving door of girlfriends and spoiling their children with his M.D. income. She’s witty and sarcastic. Strong in her convictions, yet terrified of being in the spotlight. Her struggle with being assertive, yet feeling so vulnerable is all too real (and a welcomed character for those of us who can relate all too well).

Charlene Fraizer has a heart bigger than the state of Georgia. She’s originally from a dinky town in Missouri, which she continuously references in a multitude of irrelevant stories (think Rose Nylund and St. Olaf). She loves Elvis, her Baptist roots, daytime talk shows, psychics and the National Enquirer. She’s fun, bubbly, a little naïve, and her aimless rants can sometimes prove to be a bit annoying to her friends (I believe she was described in one episode as a “big ol’ donkey girl scout”).

Considering other female foursome shows out there, Designing Women is nothing new. Very similar comparisons can be made to…oh, say, Sex and the City (as if this dead horse hasn’t been beaten enough). Now, I discovered SATC at a later age, and it too has affected my views on what it means to be an independent woman. But (sigh) I must say, after reliving my first female foursome love affair in just one season, I’m going to say DW does it just a little better.

The characters are all there: Julia=Miranda, Mary Jo=Carrie, Suzanne=Samantha, Charlene=Charlotte. Maybe not the same backstories, but their personalities and idiosyncrasies all match up. The differences that do it for me? As opposed to setting the series in glamified Manhattan (I still love you, NY), we’re set in Atlanta, which really doesn’t play as large a character as NYC. As opposed to the SATC cast professing their love for their borough, we find the DW ladies having to defend their south against the elitist north, who still believes all southerners are backward hicks named Bubba. We know our SATC characters have careers (sometimes we wonder, in that they seem to have endless time for long lunches, late night cocktail parties and carefree saunters down 8th Avenue). Many critics have pointed out the ludicrous nature of the fact that Carrie can afford an uptown Brownstone, Manolo Blahniks, daily cab fares, and New York-priced cosmopolitans on a columnist’s salary (you can be a salaried columnist??). What kind of rent-control did I miss out on?

What I’m attempting to illustrate is that DW’s women are operating in a more believeable reality. The only character living lavishly frivolous is Suzanne – for which she is the butt of many jokes and clearly depicted as not the norm. While all eight women’s struggles may be the same – raising children (or not), being successful in work, making friends, maneuvering the dating world, taking a stand, dealing with illness and sometimes loss – DW is just more relatable (this coming from a Yankee, herself – can you believe it?).

I don’t think it’s the glitzy NYC lifestyle traded in for a low-key Atlanta (could almost be an Anytown, USA) that makes the total difference. But, as I revisited Season 2, I was astonished to see…well, me. At 10, 11, 12 years old, I was watching stories about a young gay man with AIDS and that no, it’s most certainly NOT a ridiculous punishment from god for what people might refer to as “immorality.” I watched Mary Jo nervously convince the PTA to approve condoms and sex-ed in her children’s school. I saw Charlene stand up to her minister when he voted against women being able to hold his position in the church. I watched Julia – with both barrels loaded – tell off racists, classists, and sexists with her sharp wit and sharper tongue.

These are the stories I watched as a girl. These are the women I saw in my media. And seeing them reflected in the woman I am today – well, I couldn’t be more thankful for them.

I leave you with some amazingly awesome quotes from my newly-purchased-and-already-exhausted Season 2:

Mary Jo: “We’re not just preventing births anymore, we’re preventing deaths…More important than what any civic leader or PTA or Board of Education thinks about teenagers having sex – or any immoral act that my daughter or your son might engage in – is the bottom line that I don’t think they should have to die for it.”

Bernice: “Just remember, after Christ was crucified on the cross, and all his men had gone home, it was women who stayed until the bitter end. And it was women who first heralded the news of his resurrection. So just put that in your pulpit and smoke it.”

Julia: “History has shown that in general, it has been the men who have done the raping and the robbing and the killing and the WAR-MONGERING for the last two-thousand years! It has been the men who have done the pillaging and the beheading and the subjugating of WHOLE RACES into slavery! It has been the men who have done the law-making and the money-making AND MOST OF the mischief-making – so, if the world isn’t quite what you had in mind, you have only yourselves to thank!”

The End of an Era

2010-06-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Embarrassingly, I have yet to see the latest installment of Sex and the City. Embarrassed because I am one of many hardcore fans that has followed Carrie through each and every experience documented in that furry, magenta DVD collection. Also, because it has seemed to seriously let down my fellow feminists, and I am – per usual – late with any witty, cynical, analytical critique.

I’m happy to say, my nearest and dearest have not been sitting on the sidelines. First, continuing to inspire me in my writing (as well as in life) is my good friend and feminist conspirator, Holly Kent. The SATC 2 train wreck has moved her to such extent that she’s started Back On Carrie’s Stoop – a journaling, if you will, of her experience as she examines the entire series start to finish, knowing where the end has brought us. Think of it as dusting off old yearbooks and remembering the good old days….but a hell of a lot more fun.

Another good friend – riot grrl, roller grrl, all-around ass-kicker – Cindy Rodriguez has written an amazing piece for Lesbiatopia, examining how a woman can love SATC and still be a – GASP – lesbian…?? Good stuff.

I will be frequenting the literary works of my friends and other feminist lens-wearers until I can be fully prepared to dish out a week’s worth of rent to purchase a nauseatingly overpriced L.A. movie ticket to what Ms. Kent refers to as, “…a film which I knew, with a certainty as sure as death and taxes, that I would whole-heartedly despise.”

Bring on the tartinis.

Trust is a Must

2010-01-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Thirty-seven years ago, the U.S. Supreme Court trusted women. They trusted that they could make the decision (along with their doctors) of bringing another life into the world.

In 2010, despite the vast changes in social norms and society in general, women are NOT being trusted.

NOT being trusted in their decision-making skills.
NOT being trusted in their ability to weigh pros and cons.
NOT being trusted in their understanding of how being a parent is a monumental task.
NOT being trusted to understand their bodies.
NOT being trusted with their life goals, dreams and aspirations.
NOT being trusted with their personal reproductive health.

Perhaps these "non-trusters" think they are doing us a favor...by making the decision FOR us. By stigmatizing the women who choose to not parent. By mandating waiting periods, because you probably haven't thought about your decision "enough". By making minors jump the highest fences to have access to a legal medical procedure, when they may be in an abusive environment. By forcing women to bear the product of rape - which, just so we're clear, is not a justifiable consequence of being "irresponsible" and is NEVER OUR fault.

Don't treat us like we don't know our bodies or ourselves. We do. And our choices are OUR business. Stay out of our lives, because we gladly stay out of yours.

The Value of Trig

2009-12-04T17:17:00.000-08:00

Nope, this is not a post about math. I’m referring, of course, to Sarah Palin’s Down Syndrome son – the “symbol” of her pro-life sentiment, making her the mascot for the anti-abortion movement. Hey, if Sun-Maid is updating their look, the crazies might as well do the same.

I find the Right’s take on this mother-son relationship fascinating. Palin happily parades Trig around like a prop, while at the same time throwing around tough Alaskan talk about the press invading her family’s privacy (a la Bristol and Levi). Yet, her supporters applaud this use of her disabled child. Trig was pretty much fresh from the womb when Palin began her campaign for VP - I don’t remember hearing any remarks from conservatives about the fact that she wasn’t at home being a “good little mother/wife/woman” and breastfeeding all day. Because, after all, that’s what women who love the babies do. Why, only selfish, liberal elite women keep their careers while they nurse! Nope, jet-setting around the country for her political career with newborn in tow was A-OK.

The fact that Trig is special-needs is also a great defense for any unfavorable comments that come Palin’s way. Marjorie Dannenfelser, president of the Susan B. Anthony List (an org that supports anti-abortion candidates), explains the “real” reason the pro-choice community ain’t too cool with the former governor:

“She had the audacity in the eyes of the abortion rights world to actually have this child and then has the audacity to bring him along with her and feature him as a centrally valued person in their family.”

Christian conservatives Gary Bauer and Dan Allot add to this nonsense on politico.com:

“Mother and son have become objects of the left’s unrelenting scorn” and of hatred reflecting “a broader societal bias against disability.”

WTF?! So, let me get this straight: not only does the pro-choice community hate babies, but we also hate people with disabilities??? What a crock of shit. When I read these quotes, I can’t get over how ridiculous they are – more so, how ridiculous the people are who actually believe them.

Now, for the truth: it doesn’t bother us whatsoever that Sarah Palin decided to carry her special-needs child to term. More power to her. She had a choice and she chose motherhood. She was fortunate enough to HAVE a god damn choice. That’s what the pro-choice movement is about. Not about killing babies, not about ridding the world of the disabled. What we DO NOT appreciate are those who poo-poo others for making different choices. Bearing children is extremely personal and people’s situations affect it greatly. I mean, really – Sarah Palin will never meet me. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume she doesn’t lie awake at night thinking about me, my interests, what I do for fun, what I want for my future, what kind of underwear I buy, how often I change my tampon, etc. Why the hell should she and her cronies care about the choices I make for my own body? It all comes down to the old bumper sticker that will always ring true: “Don’t Like Abortion? Don’t Have One.”

Squabble in the Sisterhood

2009-11-20T16:20:00.000-08:00

I’ve been a loyal fan of BUST Magazine ever since I discovered it in my college women’s center. It was love at first sight, and I never looked back (only back issues).

I’ve also been a fan of Jessica Valenti and her contributions to feminist culture. I own two of her books, read her rants on feministing religiously and wish I could be her every day of my fucking mediocre life.

But on this November Friday, I opened my BUSTLine Weekly e-mail to find – say it isn’t so! – Ms. Valenti has, for lack of a better term, poo-pooed BUST as a feminist publication!

In her [condensed and edited] interview for the New York Times, Deborah Solomon asks Valenti about other feminist publications, to which she responds:

“Bust used to be a feminist magazine, but now it’s more crafty and about making things out of yarn. I’m not a D.I.Y. feminist. I once tried knitting a scarf but threw it away after 15 minutes.”

Note to self: yarn = not feminist. Wow. I wonder if Jessica knew that many of her fans and readers are also BUSTies. Sure, BUST offers a lot of D.I.Y. projects, but how does that make it any less feminist? Let’s not forget that the D.I.Y. movement was (and still is) strong because of empowered women. What could be more empowering than creating your own shit, I ask you? Perhaps I’m biased because I’m crafty. Although, I will admit, I also tried knitting a few years ago, but quickly lost interest.

I still adore BUST.

Valenti posted an apology in the comments of the BUST article. A student of journalism, I understand how interviews can get nipped and tucked until they hardly resemble the conversation you had – but still, there’s no denying that quote and the feelings it elicits in the BUSTies who read it. Why is it that we as feminists can never seem to move past this “I’m-more-feminist-than-thou” attitude? I’m really sick of people propagating their narrow-minded views of what’s feminist and what’s “not”. I understand that women, as a whole, are extremely different. We come from different regions of the country/planet, different religions/spiritualities; race and class still play a role in each of our worldviews. What makes feminism so amazing is that it has so many different facets – yet, that very fact can also be a curse when we don’t respect other women’s interpretations. We lose sight of the focus and the big picture of the movement; why we’re uniting in the first place. Instead, people want to call attention to irrelevant crap.

What upsets me is the hypocrisy behind the quote. Valenti, feministing, as well as all this other 3rd/4th-wave-feminist-new-media-lit have been criticized as “not feminist enough,” “too girlie” or “too fun” by staunch 2nd wavers. Valenti pretty much made a name for herself by preaching that feminism doesn’t have to come out of a can. Now, the tables are turned, and Valenti is trivializing a magazine that has introduced many to the cause, and kept us here.

Skirting the issue

2009-10-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

People never cease to amaze me with asinine comments.

I heard a real gem yesterday. Being Halloween and all, of course the topic of scantily-costumed women was brought up, and how this leads to sexual harassment. Out of the mouth of one of my fellow females came this:

“If they would put some pants on, then they wouldn’t get harassed."

Ah yes, of course! Why didn’t I think of that?! If we just covered our legs and vaginas in a layer of denim, we could, like, tewtally eliminate rape and sexual harassment! What a novel idea!

My head could not take the pressure caused by the utter shock, confusion and anger that was mixing around like beer before liquor. This is why I carry a knife, so I can stab at my temple repeatedly when I hear things like this.

Seriously though, not only was this the DUMBEST thing I’ve heard since George W. Bush last spoke publicly, but it was highly insulting and a real slap in the face to any woman who has been through sexual harassment or assault.

Brush it off, honey, you asked for it.

Clothing – or lack thereof – is in no way a justification for harassment, assault or rape. Period. End of fucking story. It’s just another sneaky way of putting the blame on women. What about the perpetrators?? We’re taught that men’s “urges” are “inevitable,” “unstoppable” – one look at a naked kneecap, and they’re ready to roll. No turning back. Ya shouldn’t have worn XYZ if ya didn’t want to do me. But, anyone who’s not completely dense knows this is a crock of shit. Why? Because if all men’s libidos were uncontrollable, then all men would be rapists – and they’re not. And rape has little to do with being horny and a lot to do with power. So, why aren’t men more insulted by being categorized as savage beasts void of self-control and humanity? Those who are (and I do know they’re out there) need to stand up and say so, if they aren’t already.

So, no – it’s really NOT all about the pants. I know this for a fact because one night a few years ago, I was walking from my car to my apartment sporting jeans, sneakers, a hoodie, sans makeup – and I was STILL greeted by men in a passing car screaming some mumbo jumbo about my “pussy.”

Classy.

Ralph Lauren takes a poo on proportions

2009-10-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

What the hell?!

This just ain't right.

Might Last A Day; Mine Is Forever

2009-08-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

As I was itching for some riot grrrl tunes the other day, I rediscovered my extensive Hole collection (oh yeah – even My Body The Hand Grenade, a collection of demos, b-sides and live tracks). It brought me back to those days in junior high/high school – being a relatively “good girl,” but deep down, harboring a wild/curious streak just deep enough to make complete conformity seem like a death sentence. I had friends, but never felt like I fit in anywhere. I got good grades, but wasn’t booky enough to be a nerd. I liked heavier music, but wasn’t hard enough to be a punk. Wasn’t athletic by any stretch of the imagination, so that left out sports. And I loathed the cheerleaders.

I was just me. I didn’t have a label, although I secretly wished I did. I thought it would somehow make understanding and describing myself easier.

I developed a hardcore girl crush on Courtney Love as I wore out my cassette of Live Through This. I loaned it to my friend Jenna on the bus and she was instantly a convert. I remember her going on some philosophical discourse about how Courtney’s problems are so much bigger than ours. As hip as my mother was, she couldn’t understand my fascination. When she saw Courtney, she saw some white trash hellion dressed like a two-bit whore who was never taught how to cross her legs. She wondered where she went wrong with her parenting that her 13 year-old daughter would gravitate toward this kind of lunatic.

I was too young to know how to explain it at the time, but to me, Courtney was the poster girl for angry young women who were fed up and wanted more. To me, she was the goddess who threw up her finger at what females were “supposed” to be. She wasn’t the perfect, cookie-cutter poptart that most little girls grow up idolizing. Her hair was a mess. Her makeup was smeared. Her clothes resembled gems from the local Salvation Army and didn’t always fit in the right places. She was crass, full of rage, and obscene. She battled inner demons, addictions and roller coaster relationships. Oh, and on top of all that, she could shred guitar with the best of the boys – and probably scare the hell out of them.

After the circus that was Kurt’s death, it wasn’t very cool to be a Courtney fan. Of course, being a loudmouth bitch made her an easy target for blame. But over a decade later, I’ve still stayed true. Approaching age 27, I can still put on some Hole and I’m instantly connected to my inner hellion. The relatively “good girl” who plays by the rules, but still has that wild streak deep enough to make conventional adult life look like a death sentence. The girl who’s still fed up with the status quo and is still butting heads with what she’s “supposed to be” in this world that doesn’t always feel like hers. She’s ready to throw up her fingers.

*In no way am I ignoring the other riot grrrl goddesses that made angsty chicks like me feel like we had a voice – Joan Jett, Kathleen Hanna, Donita Sparks, Allison Wolfe, to name a few. Their contributions to feminism and music can never be replicated.*

Overall, I admired Courtney because she just didn’t give a fuck. She did and said everything I was too scared to. While I’m not as shy as I used to be, I definitely haven’t reached a level of outspokenness yet. But when I finally do – look the fuck out, world.

Beach Blanket Burger Bingo Bullshit.

2009-07-03T10:52:00.000-07:00

First there was Paris. Then there was Padma. Now, it's Audrina - and I've officially had enough.

I'm referring of course to the ads for Carl's Jr. – sexifying gargantuan, artery-clogging hamburgers that in no way, shape or form have anything to do with scantily clad women.

Who are you trying to fool? Like ANYone believes that:

a) Eating this shit will turn one's body into the white, privileged, American ideal of "beauty"
b) These over-paid celebs actually eat said shit

The most insulting part? CJ's catchphrase: "More Than Just A Piece Of Meat."

Um, yeah....there's truth in that, but CJ's has it ass-backwards. Apparently, the burgers get more respect than women.

On the flipside, one can argue that everyone has their price. We can safely assume none of these women were forced at economic gunpoint to whore themselves out to a fast food chain. Sexism survives if we let it. As long as degrading advertisements like this one rake in the big $$$, corporations will continue utilizing the T&A to ensure you keep exposing your wallet.

Check out another angle on this ad from Amoral Fixation.

Oh. My. God.

2009-06-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

Apparently, we can all be our own personal baby killer!

Yowza.

Tragic News for the Pro-Choice Community - Dr. Tiller Killed

2009-05-31T12:54:00.004-07:00

Dr. George Tiller, longtime abortion provider and a hero among pro-choice activists, was shot and killed in the lobby of his church in Wichita, Kansas this morning.

Tiller was one of very few physicians who provided late-term abortions for women who had nowhere else to turn - where their health, life and well-being were on the line and continuously ignored. His clinic, Women's Health Care Services, revolutionized pregnancy termination by recognizing women's varying needs of coping. Tiller offered funeral services for patients, sometimes including baptism, cremation and burial. He understood that abortion is not a cookie cutter issue for women - all women are not the same; therefore their situations, feelings, and decision processes are of course as different as they are. As opposed to treating patients like cattle, Tiller and his staff recognized the personal and tailored women's experiences to be as positive as possible based on their needs. Sometimes, an abortion does not end when the patient leaves the clinic - emotional health is just as important as physical health.

The crazy fucks of Operation Rescue issued a statement on their website:

"Operation Rescue has worked for years through peaceful, legal means, and through the proper channels to see him brought to justice. We denounce vigilantism and the cowardly act that took place this morning. We pray for Mr. Tiller's family that they will find comfort and healing that can only be found in Jesus Christ."

OH REALLY??? The organization's founder, Randall Terry, as been arrested numerous times - the first, for chaining himself to a sink in a clinic procedure room back in 1986. He was recently taken into custody for trespassing on Notre Dame University property, protesting President Obama's scheduled May 17th commencement speech. Pushing blood-covered baby dolls in carriages just screams peaceful to me....

Terry issued his own statement regarding Tiller's death:

"George Tiller was a mass-murderer. We grieve for him that he did not have time to properly prepare his soul to face God. I am more concerned that the Obama Administration will use Tiller's killing to intimidate pro-lifers into surrendering our most effective rhetoric and actions. Abortion is still murder. And we still must call abortion by its proper name, murder."

The so-called "pro-life" movement in this country has become a cesspool of hypocrites - denouncing abortion as nothing but murder...yet justifying the killing of abortion providers as the means to an end. On one hand, we have finally have support back in the White House...but it comes at a price. When the extremists are not in power, they will find a way for their voices to be heard...

No more happy horseshit for Bristol Palin.

2009-01-07T12:04:00.003-08:00

So, finally Sarah Palin can admit that teen pregnancy ain't all fun 'n' games.

"When Bristol and Levi first told us the shocking news that she was pregnant, to be honest, we all at first looked at the situation with some fear and a bit of despair," Palin said in a statement following the birth of - eh em - Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston on December 27th.

Despair, huh? Aw, but I thought all pregnancies were God's little sprinkling of happy holy fairy dust gifts........or something........?

And abortion would be like - I don't know - returning that gift grandma got you that you reeeeeally don't want, but it's rude to take it back, so you wear it or have it out when she's around so she doesn't get insulted.

Anyway, even mama Bristol is speaking out against her own situation. "Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with - this isn't ideal," she said. She also shared that she's putting off her own personal plans in order to be there for her son. I give her props for that.

Reality will probably set in quickly, now that baby daddy Levi Johnston has just quit his Alaskan oil field job - amid concerns that he is a high school dropout.

And he got hired how????

Check out this blog!

2008-12-06T10:53:00.003-08:00

Hey all you book nerds - check out the blog of Cynthia Rodriguez on Lesbiatopia!

When Cindy's not writing her awesome blogs and book reviews for Lesbiatopia, she's doing artsy-fartsy thingys in her studio, being a kick-ass pro-choice activist, cheering for the NY Jets, and filling the role of rad co-worker :)

Show some love to C-Rod: R4R's biggest fan!

Making lemonade.

2008-12-06T10:25:00.003-08:00

I'm always the LAST to post everything (hey, I never claimed to be CNN here!), but I finally sat my tush down and watched the Proposition 8 Musical video that's been going around for the past couple weeks.

Two words: Hil Arious!

That's why I love my fellow liberals - when we experience setbacks we get upset...but then we just make our opponents look like total ass-clowns :)

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Prop 8 pees on my parade.

2008-11-11T05:56:00.002-08:00

I'm finally out of my Election Happiness Haze. Wow, what a week it's been!! For the first time in my adult life, I actually feel like things are going to be different.....and I'm so proud!

On a lousy note, Proposition 8 passed in California banning gay marriage statewide. My man, Keith Olbermann had this to say last night...

(get those tissues and prepare to swoon!)

Vote, baby, VOTE!

2008-11-04T04:57:00.005-08:00

Just cast my ballot - who knew I'd be so peppy getting up at the ass-crack of dawn!

My friend and I were giddy as we left our polling place - maybe we're just nerds, but there's this feeling of pride and accomplishment we both shared. It's amazing how such a small (almost anti-climactic) action of pressing a few buttons can mean so much.

That's why I get so fucking angry when people get on their soapboxes about how "lame" or "pointless" voting is. What pisses me off most of all is the fact that these people are as fed up with the status quo as I am - yet, they snub the most important step they can take to try and change it. Sure, our system is far from perfect - but how is refusing to participate in it going to fix anything? As far as I'm concerned: if you didn't vote, you can't bitch. I bitched about Bush for EIGHT YEARS - because I didn't vote for him either time, and I was pissed. If you aren't happy with something, raise your voice and use the vehicles you have to show your disapproval! Get involved in your community, organizations, movements to bring about change when we're not in an election year. DO SOMETHING! Even if it's just writing a freakin' blog you think no one reads - you're at least getting your thoughts and your message out there.

I'm sick of the whole: "I'm too annoyed and cynical to vote. I'm so much better than you idealistic losers who think it's going to make a difference. I waste my breath telling you how angry I am, but I'm not going to do anything about it."

Get the fuck over yourselves.

Women's health gets fingered...

2008-10-29T06:50:00.003-07:00

I frantically searched for this Daily Show segment after it aired last night - but alas, I had to wait until this morning.

Rock on, Samantha Bee.

Sharp Dressed (Wo)man.

2008-10-25T12:03:00.002-07:00

By now, you've probably heard about paper doll Sarah Palin's shopping sprees. Reports show the RNC has spent over $150,000 on clothing, hair and makeup for the VP candidate's appearances on the campaign trail. Cause really - who cares what asinine crap comes out of her mouth as long as she looks good? Props to CNN's Campbell Brown for addressing this on the air:

I feel it's as obvious as ever why Johnny picked Palin as his running mate: there's been too much talk about the Republican party equating to rich, crusty old white men. Sooooo....let's incorporate some CHANGE (cause that's what all the hip kids are saying these days) and put a rich, young white WOMAN in the public eye! Oh, they'll eat that up! But she has to be hot - we don't want some post-menopausal hag - women don't want to be that and men don't want to look at that. Who cares what her creds are - she's got peeps to write her speeches for her (just make sure we keep her away from unscripted questions from the media - people might actually find out she's stupid).

Another reason Sarah Palin is an asshole.

2008-10-19T08:44:00.004-07:00

This is a short but really powerful ad put out by WAMP (Women Against McCain-Palin)...

Election bitchin'

2008-10-18T14:10:00.006-07:00

I think I've officially overdosed on CNN. But like all other narcotics, I can't seem to stop. Ahhh.....it's that time of year again - the presidential debates are my play-offs, and election night is my Superbowl. I'm psyched and pretty damn geared up - probably because I'm so fucking angry.

Now, it's no secret I'm a feminist and I fully support and love seeing women aiming for places that not too long ago were reserved for men only. HOWEVER, I loathe Sarah Palin. That's probably no surprise, either - most feminists do. What the hell was Johnny thinking?! I remember seeing the announcement on TV - I was in California with a friend of mine (also a CNN junkie). After a lot of screaming and obscenities, I said the political move was like when someone brings in doughnuts to the office, and that weird guy from the copy room takes a bite out of one and puts it back in the box. COME ON!! Who are you fooling?? McCain's obviously trying to appeal to all the bitter Hillary voters by choosing a young, spunky woman as his running mate.....but with a little research, any intelligent human being can see that Sarah Palin is no Hillary Clinton! Quite the opposite, actually - in more ways than party lines. Palin is hardcore pro-life - even in cases of rape and incest. While governor of Alaska, she passed a law that requires rape victims to pay for their own rape kits for further investigation! Now, I understand the pro-life rhetoric of "taking responsibility" and blah blah blah (because humans are perfect, of course, and choice is such a black and white issue), but no one asks to be raped - what has the victim done that can be considered "irresponsible?"

And what kind of experience does this woman have that could make her a viable candidate for the vice presidency?? Yeah, she was a governor, but Hillary Clinton has been in the Senate for years - not to mention a former First Lady.

And the winking!!!!

Then there's Bristol - her 17 year old prego daughter and the product of abstinence-only sex education (see how well that works!). McCain/Palin supporters came down hard on the media for bringing the minor into the spotlight. However, isn't Palin's view on birth control and contraception kind of OUR business, when she's in the running to be influential on those issues?

The Republicans fought back big time, bringing up Obama's "connection" to Bill Ayers, a former anti-war activist/domestic terrorist during the Vietnam War. The two served on a board together in Illinois - way after Ayers' violent past, which was in it's heyday when Obama was only 8 years old. Ayers is now a college professor and a model citizen....but we should all see Obama as an American-hating terrorist?? Puhleeze. What I want to know is why doesn't anyone point out that McCain left his invalid wife for Cindy, his mistress? What a great Christian!

The fight has gotten ugly. Every McCain ad I've seen and heard recently is all about how awful Obama is - and I'm glad the Obama camp is taking the high road and focusing on how he would be the best choice - not simply mudslinging back at McCain. What makes me so pissed above everything else is the ignorance, hatred, fear, and racism McCain's campaign has fueled by throwing around words like "terrorist" - obviously stirring up visions of Osama Bin Ladin and 9/11.

SO - this is just the foam on top of my cappuccino of frustration. I'm sure there will be more to come in the next few weeks...when I can think more clearly and I don't find it difficult to come up with cohesive sentences.

Republicans: Making their party proud since….uh....hmm....

2008-06-18T09:10:00.002-07:00

A vendor thought it would be a swell idea to sell this nausea-inducing pin at the Texas state GOP convention last week:

“If Obama is President will we still call it the White House?”

Apparently, the Republican Party has not halted production or sales of the pin - or even saying anything about it at all. Yet, its movers and shakers are still talking the talk of how we need lovely things like unity, using such choice-words as “colorblind.”

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTT!!!

How about vocally disapproving of racism when you see it - especially in your own party?!

Thanks to Chris V on DigitalJournal for original posting.

A little wake-up call...

2008-06-11T07:31:00.003-07:00

I know four days equals “old news,” but I still feel the need to address Hillary’s June 7th concession from the presidential race.

To all her supporters: Ok, so all our hard work and unyielding faith has not produced the outcome we wanted (sigh). But, there’s no use wasting our time bitching about what could have been – now, we need to work with what we’ve got. I think most dems forgot they were technically on the same side – let’s remind ourselves of that. And in the meantime, rally together so we can finally celebrate some good news come November. I know I sure as hell don’t want McCain running the Oval Office, or my ovaries. (How’s that for alliteration?)

I know it stinks to lose something you’ve worked so hard for and wanted so badly, but it happens. Regardless of the outcome, Hillary has already made history in her campaign for the presidency. Thanks to her, children today have seen a strong woman push for the most coveted seat at the table. And all hope is not lost – there’s still a chance Obama could choose Hillary as his Vice. And how awesome would that be?

So, in conclusion: instead of whining like a child whose mommy wouldn’t buy them a candy bar at the Pick ‘n Save, get off your butts and start remembering why you’re activists – and what’s at stake if we continue to bicker amongst ourselves.

I went away, but sexism didn't!

2008-05-23T09:22:00.004-07:00

So, I took a “hiatus,” which I never intended to turn into a hiatus – then I remembered the other day that I used to have this blog thing that I would post to religiously, even if no one read it except a few interested friends, but I would keep up with it in hopes of it being discovered by literate people across the country, who would visit it daily and thoroughly enjoy my ideas and writing style…

Yeah, I was referring to this blog.

Anyway, I hope that I will never abandon you again, R4R, and will no longer put off sharing my thoughts, ideas and pet peeves with all 3 of my lovely readers…

Ha :)

Well, what better way to get my ass kicked back into gear than to hear that – golly, gee – sexism is alive and well!

Campbell Leaper (professor of psychology at UC Santa Cruz) and Christia Spears Brown (assistant professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky) conducted a study of 600 girls, ages 12-18 from California and Georgia. The results: 90% of girls today experience sexual harassment and sexism. Nine out of ten!!! And we should shut up about feminism ‘cause we’ve come so far…

Riiiiight.

"Sexual harassment included receiving inappropriate and unwanted romantic attention, hearing demeaning gender-related comments, being teased about their appearance, receiving unwanted physical contact, and being teased, bullied, or threatened with harm by a male. "Our findings on sexual harassment are, sadly, consistent with previous research," said Leaper. "But on the other hand, most girls said they'd experienced sexual harassment at least once, as opposed to several times."

Leaper and Brown were curious to learn what environmental factors attributed to how a female recognizes sexism (if at all). Their study showed that girls who were familiar with feminism were more likely to identify sexism than girls who were not. In addition, girls who felt pressure to conform to traditional femininity (whether from parents, teachers, coaches or peers) were also more likely to recognize sexism.

Leaper relates this correlation to society’s awareness of racism – acknowledging its existence shows one’s disapproval. "In order to recognize sexism," she said. "You probably have to believe it's wrong."

But Leaper points out that being aware of sexism doesn't predispose girls to over-report it.

"We know from previous studies that people tend to under-report discrimination," said Leaper. "After Anita Hill, reports of sexual harassment increased dramatically in the United States, because it gave people a label for their experience. So, if anything, sexism is probably occurring more than the girls in this study are saying it is."

The scariest part of this news is being reminded that many people out there still don’t believe sexism exists, and that it’s perfectly normal to demand men and women adhere to traditional gender roles – and those who resist should be punished. "Doing Gender" has become so normalized, it’s difficult for people to re-train their thinking – even when they’re aware of sexism, homophobia, etc. It’s the little slips that send a wave of embarrassment once they’re uttered. "Did I just say that?!"

A friend of mine teaches women’s studies and history at our alma mater, and thoroughly enjoys being part of students’ discovery of how women’s roles have changed (and yet not) through time. She tells me with excitement how the undergrads seem to "get it" – they can see how certain behavior is degrading, and its purpose should be questioned – but then someone will call a woman a bitch or a whore for no good reason – just that they got nothin’ else to work with…

Fractured Fairy Tales

2008-02-13T12:37:00.004-08:00

I’ve been sitting on this post for almost a month, and remembering that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day gave me a big enough kick in the ass to finish it...

My friend told me about a horrible movie she caught on TV recently - "Trust the Man." I haven't seen it, but apparently, these two couples are in miserable relationships (one guy is cheating on his wife, the other acts like a 15-year-old), yet at the end of the movie, all is forgiven and right in the world.

Sounds like every romantic comedy ever made (gag). Come to think of it, sounds like most sitcoms, too. No matter how intense the fights or how hurtful the actions, everything's hunky-dory in the end because someone magically changed between the Verizon and Tide commercials.

I started to think about all the crap I’ve seen on TV throughout my formative years – and I came to the conclusion that exposing yourself to enough of these scenarios eventually starts to erode any amount of common sense you may or may not have. Sure, I know it's only entertainment. After a stressful day at work, few would argue with watching a show/movie where the nice guys always win, love is always requited (even if not at first), and the bad guys always get what’s coming to them. Karma is alive and well on the screen. We talk to the characters, screaming, "What’s the matter with him?!" as we wait for the "tough guy" to crumble at the sight of his love interest – because she's such a "good" woman. He professes his emotions, maybe even sheds a tear. They embrace, share a perfect kiss, and the credits roll.

My friend and I talked about how damaging this can be for, particularly, the female psyche. Come on, we all know women (maybe even ourselves) who have at one time or another made excuses for absolutely horrible relationships because of such iron-clad excuses, like:

"Oh, he'll change because I'm a supportive girlfriend and I'm so good to him!"

Or the ever-famous:

"He was so wonderful before - I'm sure that side of him is still in there somewhere…"

We women are pretty good at internalizing and taking responsibility for other people’s bullshit. Popular media has this underlying rule that no matter how fucked up a guy is, if the woman is "good" enough or sacrifices enough, this will be his cure and will make him a decent human being. His life is in her hands, so to speak. If she can’t change him, well then she must not have tried hard enough – or she just wasn’t "good" enough.

Wow, I didn’t realize how fucked up that sounds when it’s written out. Seriously though, if someone has serious mental or social problems that were there before you and during you, they’re going to be there after you. It’s their deficiency, not yours. Stories like "Trust the Man" take the responsibility away from the man and put it completely on the woman. Now, it’s up to her to help him overcome his abusiveness/neglectfulness/immaturity/coldness...which is straight-up bullshit.

Banking on the other person to see the err of his or her ways just because you are a loving, supportive partner is not only a never-ending battle - it's a terrible way to live. As much as chick-flicks and sappy sitcoms like to show how people change, really they don't. And in the rare occasion where a person does a 180, it’s because they themselves felt the need/will/whathaveyou to change – not because they put you on a pedestal.

Of course, I don’t sit around and watch educational programming all freakin’ day – I like my crap-shows just as much as everyone else. Now, I’m just more of a cynical bitch while I watch ‘em. :)

On that note, Happy Valentine’s Day, and make sure your valentine is one that truly makes you happy – why would you want or deal with anything less?

Women's Studies exposed! (gasp)

2008-01-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

There's been some shit-talking about the discipline of Women's Studies - mostly from David Horowitz in a November article for The Weekly Standard. In defense of non-traditional courses in higher education, I submitted a piece for RH Reality Check...check it out...

Toot My Horn....Wednesday...

2008-01-09T06:30:00.001-08:00

I know - Tuesday sounds much better, but my newest piece for Rhrealitycheck.org was just published today.

It's what you get when you mix a study, sex-ed and Shelby Knox!

I Love Lily Allen.

2007-12-29T08:36:00.000-08:00

Yup, we're in the height of the holidays, and probably eating much more than we're used to (I know I am! Belch). So, I thought I'd share this little PSA from one of the best musical exports from England - Lily Allen.

If you've never heard of her, shame on you, and check out her single, "Smile."

And if this doesn't brighten your day, then watch one of those damn Rankin-Bass movies...

Happy Holidays from violent activists...

2007-12-17T07:21:00.000-08:00

Arsonists set fire to an Albuquerque abortion clinic on the night of Dec. 6th, destroying its exam room.

Witnesses staying at a nearby hotel said the two suspects dumped a can of gasoline through a window and then set it ablaze. Fortunately, no staff was present during the fire.

Officials are conducting a thorough investigation and plan to check hospitals for anyone admitted for "accidental" burns...

The clinic, Abortion Acceptance of Albuquerque, is run by Dr. Curtis Boyd. He is a founding member of the National Abortion Federation (NAF) and has been providing services in New Mexico since 1972.

Teen birth rates rise - wtf?!

2007-12-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

Looks like we're finally starting to see the effects of abstinence-only education. Last week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released preliminary data on U.S. births in 2006. For the first time since 1991, the rate of teen births increased – kind of a big deal, since we had been experiencing a steady decline for the past 14 years.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, in 2002, only 62% of sexually experienced female teens had received instruction about contraception before they first had sex, compared with 72% in 1995. Coincidence? I think not...

Excuse me, can I have some salt for my placenta?

2007-12-05T07:40:00.000-08:00

What's new and exciting in the world of new motherhood? Placentas! Apparently, a woman who ingests her own placenta has a better chance of avoiding postpartum depression and the "baby blues."

While there's no scientific research yet, women across the country swear by it. It makes sense, when you consider the hormone factor. The placenta contains estrogen and progesterone, both which sharply decline in women right after childbirth. Some women say ingesting the placenta stabilizes these hormone levels.

Now before you all get visuals of post-delivery women scooping their afterbirths off the floor and chowing down, it's not like that. Guides for eating placenta recommend adding it to lasagna or as a pizza topping. Squisito!

Jodi Selander dried hers, grinded it up into powder and made capsules. She now sells placenta encapsulation kits on the Internet.

Sure, it sounds weird in a bad sci-fi movie kinda way, but Selander makes a good point:

"We have a very sanitary society. Anything that is not cleaned up and pretty and made to be put on display, we do deem as gross. But the thing is, birth is a messy process and the whole act of bringing life into the world is a whole messy ordeal."

Giuliani: Not so much the beacon of moderate politics.

2007-12-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

Some of us kinda chuckled when Rudy Giuliani announced his presidential candidacy. Why on earth would the Grand Old Party (home to Pat Robertson and the Christian Coalition) throw its support behind the former mayor of New York City, who publicly asserts he is pro-choice and pro-gay rights?? Jerry Falwell is convulsing in his grave.

An odd stance for a Republican, that's for sure. But with how incredibly polarized the parties have become today, it's somewhat refreshing to find someone brave enough to walk outside his party line....right?

Well, just how "pro-choice" are you, Mr. G? Sure, you throw that word around to pique the liberals' interests, but honestly, just how does your party tolerate you?

Taking a closer look at Giuliani's record, he's pretty damn similar to an anti-choice Republican - the only difference is that he calls himself "pro-choice."

Like his anti-choice cronies, Giuliani supports parental notification laws and the so-called "partial birth" abortion ban (a false medical term used to describe the dilation-and-extraction method). He also said he'd appoint "strict constructionist" judges to the Supreme Court, similar to Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts and Samuel Alito (his examples) - all of which are anti-choice and do not support Roe v. Wade.

When Giuliani first ran for NYC mayor in 1989, he assured his Republican party that he personally opposed abortion. Public funding? Ew, no! Roe v. Wade? Yucky!

I guess as Election Day loomed closer, Rudy realized he couldn't possibly win anything in New York Fucking City if he was anti-abortion. He issued a statement in the New York Times:

"As mayor, Rudy Giuliani will uphold a woman's right of choice to have an abortion. Giuliani will fund all city programs which provide abortions to insure that no woman is deprived of her right due to an inability to pay. He will oppose reductions in state funding. He will oppose making abortion illegal. Although Giuliani is personally opposed to abortion, his personal views will not interfere with his responsibilities as mayor."

Too little, too late - Giuliani lost the election on account of his flip-flopping, but won in 1993. Not because he changed anything regarding his views on abortion - he just started calling himself "pro-choice." Hey, it's what New Yorkers wanted to hear.

And now, Rudy's using what he learned and applying it to his campaign for the presidency: Run as a "pro-choicer," so you can gain some liberal votes, but promise your conservative base that you're really on their side - all while making a mockery of the issues.

Good strategy, Rudy - now go home and curl up on Pat Robertson's lap. You know, the evangelist guy who's endorsing you? The one who agreed with Jerry Falwell when he said we got what we deserved on 9/11 because of "abortionists"...

Toot My Horn Tuesday: Double Whammy

2007-11-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

The Crazy Christians are going green. (rhrealitycheck)

and

Calling out the double standard. (teenwire)

Domestic Dynamics, Part II

2007-11-13T08:45:00.000-08:00

Yeah, we're back on this again. I feel like yesterday's post started some things that need finishing - or at least some expanding...

So, studies have shown that despite men's increased involvement in matters of the home/family, women still put in more time and have more difficulty balancing family and work. Because women are recognizing the massive amounts of stress and sacrifice it takes to raise a child, they are more understanding of the decision to remain childless.

And now for the million dollar question: why are men are still spending less time parenting? I do not have a deep-rooted hate for men (cause, let's clarify - that is not what feminism is about), so I refuse to believe men aren’t putting in the hours because they are miserable, heartless, and selfish Neanderthals.

So, what then? Is it work? Is parenting something men feel women do better? What affects how men and women parent?

On Businessweek.com, I found an excerpt from the book, "Work and Family – Allies Or Enemies?" by Stewart D. Friedman and Jeffrey H. Greenhaus. Friedman was the director of the Ford Motor Company’s Leadership Development Center from 1999-2001, and teaches at UPenn’s Wharton School of Business. Greenhaus is a professor of management at Drexel.

In their study of 861 professionals, Friedman and Greenhaus found that that on the whole, those who brought home higher incomes had lower parental performance.

"With all that money can buy for children, a high income still does not overcome a serious problem kids face when their parents (especially their fathers) are so psychologically involved in work that they cannot attend well to the demands of being a parent."

Interestingly, income levels affected men and women differently when they evaluated their own parenting skills.

"Mothers who want money and power from their careers feel that their children receive higher-quality care than do mothers who have lower career aspirations and who care less about wealth. Yet it is the opposite for fathers: the less a father aspires to hierarchical advancement, the better he feels about his performance as a parent. And the lower the value a father places on wealth, the better he feels about the care his children receive."

F&G say that women who have high aspirations for career success have higher self-esteem, which "enhances her capacity to care for her children and to arrange for effective childcare." Conversely, men who aren’t as work-centered feel they are better parents because they are more available to their families.

But the authors remind us that just because you make a lot of money doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be a lousy parent. "What is really operating here is that intense psychological involvement in career leads to the perception of lower parental performance."

It’s not the income itself, but the associations we have around higher salaries (i.e. I put in a ton of hours and sacrificed a lot for this). What really determines one’s parenting is the flexibility of their job, how good they feel about their work, and being in an environment that is sensitive to personal and family needs.

So, maybe it’s simply the high-powered, high-earning execs that aren’t stepping up when it comes to the kids? And just because they’re not putting in as much time as their wives, that doesn’t necessarily mean, a) they don’t want to; and b) they don’t feel bad about it.

After all that, I really don’t think I answered the question at all. Not like I expected this post to be the end-all of the debate. If I had the answer to unequal parenting, I’d probably be doing something much more lucrative than writing this blog. It’s a step, though – to understanding what affects men and women and how they operate in and out of the home.

A Closer Look at Domestic Dynamics

2007-11-12T12:05:00.001-08:00

My bad.

Unfortunately, I have to work harder on making sure I back up my opinions with facts and reliable sources rather than just going off on a tangent, thinking that what I'm saying is common knowledge.

Over the weekend, one of my readers said he disagreed with a line from my post, "Gone Daddy Gone" (11/7/07):

"...the final choice should be the woman's, since she bears most of the responsibility of carrying, birthing and rearing the child."

He said he agrees that women are (biologically) on their own when it comes to pregnancy and labor. However, he reminded me that men are much more involved with raising children nowadays, and the generalization of the distant father who doesn't lift a finger is not true.

He's right - you're more likely to find stay-at-home-dads in 2007 than 1987, and more businesses offer paternity leave in addition to maternity leave. In an age where more women are working and pursuing success in their careers, more men are stepping up and recognizing the need to share the work of parenting.

I know gender roles in the household are changing, but it had seemed (to me) that women still do more than men when it comes to raising children. Maybe I was stuck on that generalization? I thought maybe I spoke too soon (and too harshly) about the guys...

I needed some evidence - something more trustworthy than my personal thoughts - and came across a recent study by Tanya Koropeckyj-Cox, a sociologist at the University of Florida. Her study, featured in the November 2007 issue of The Journal of Marriage and Family, shows that women have a more positive view of childlessness than men, "likely because parenting places greater demands on mothers, especially those juggling work and family responsibilities."

Koropeckyj-Cox says, "Although fathers have become more involved in childcare and housework in recent decades, they provide fewer hours and generally less intensive care on average than mothers."

Interesting. Not only are women still carrying more of the child care load, but because of this, they are more accepting of the idea of not having children at all.

Leave it to the news to scare the shit out of us.

2007-11-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

I was watching the charming and debonair Brian Williams on NBC Nightly News Tuesday evening, and just when I was about to turn the channel - a teaser for a MAJORLY IMPORTANT story for any woman on birth control! "Oh my!" I thought. Better tune in!

Apparently, women who have used oral contraceptives for over a year are at increased risk of atherosclerosis - or plaque buildup in the arteries. I wish I could link to the broadcast of that segment, but for some reason, when I click on NBC's link, it never opens - maybe others will have better luck...

If you can't open it either and it's lost forever, take my word for it - the segment was one of the most dramatic things I've ever seen. The woman reporting urged EVERY WOMAN IN AMERICA WHO IS TAKING ORAL CONTRACEPTIVES to CALL YOUR GYNECOLOGIST RIGHT AWAY! MONITOR your cholesterol and blood pressure!! OH MY GOD!! GO TO YOUR DOCTOR! ANY DOCTOR! RIGHT AWAY! GO NOW!! LORD HAVE MERCY, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Holy shit. Like I didn't already know my smoking habits are a big no-no with my birth control - now this?! I've been on the pill for seven years, and my blood pressure/cholesterol/overall health is a-ok....am I just lucky? According to this nut, I should be pushing up daisies (Or at least spending the rest of my life in assisted living for irresponsible 20-somethings who thought they were invincible and screwed up big time).

Well, I put my mind at ease after reading the actual news story - with quotes from Ernst Rietzschel, the head researcher who led the study.

"Rietzschel said he did not think the findings should trigger alarms about the safety of the pill. 'Bottom line - don't discontinue your pill suddenly. Don't panic. Don't call your gynecologist tomorrow morning,' Rietzschel said."

Hmm. That doesn't exactly sound like the call to action that woman on NBC was spewing Tuesday night....

But as long as mainstream media can raise our fears to frenzy status, we'll spend the money to calm ourselves down....

For more info on just how fucked up your TV is, visit FAIR.

Benazir Bhutto Under House Arrest

2007-11-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

Pakistan President Gen. Pervez Musharraf ordered opposition leader, Benazir Bhutto, under house arrest this morning. Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan on November 3 (in other words, martial law), and has been receiving heavy criticism from Bhutto and her supporters, the Pakistan People's Party (PPP).

Benazir Bhutto was the first woman to be elected Prime Minister of Pakistan back in 1988. Unfortunately, she was removed on corruption charges that are still being investigated...

Gone Daddy Gone

2007-11-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine brought this story to my attention, and it sparked some great conversation...

Basically, some "men's rights activists" are saying if a woman legally has a choice to keep a pregnancy, end it, adopt, etc., then a man should be able to choose if he wants to pay child support.

In this particular case, the woman knew her partner did not want children, and as far as she knew (I'd like to know more details here), she was unable to get pregnant due to a medical condition.

Apparently, she beat the odds and - voila - she is with child.

To be honest, when my friend first told me about this story, I laughed. A lot. It all just seemed too ridiculous to bring before the courts. Apparently, the judge thought so, too...

"State courts have ruled in the past that any inequity experienced by men like Dubay is outweighed by society's interest in ensuring that children get financial support from two parents."

This case brings up a good point that many feminists don't want to talk about: men's involvement in child-creating, bearing, and rearing.

In a perfectly stable, loving relationship with open communication (which seems incredibly rare nowadays), if the woman becomes pregnant, she will most likely talk over her options with her partner. It's the respectful thing to do, but really, the final choice should be the woman's, since she bears most of the responsibility of carrying, birthing and rearing the child. This all goes on in her body, not his.

However, when I was discussing this story yesterday, it occurred to me how many women don't want their men involved at all in talks of pregnancy - yet when the child arrives, they're upset that men aren't very involved or helpful fathers.

Not really sure if there's a good answer for this...just bringing up a point...

The case for biology.

2007-11-05T06:46:00.001-08:00

I'm starting to read Louann Brizendine's "The Female Brain" (saw it at Border's and couldn't help myself). She's a neuropsychiatrist, graduated from Yale and UC Berkeley, taught at Harvard Med School - hence, I figure she knows her stuff.

According to Brizendine, there is scientific proof that women's brains are wired waaay differently than men, and that there are actual biological tendencies at work - like the need to nurture, what a woman looks for in a potential mate, etc.

I really can't argue with science, but I personally think our society/culture also has a lot to do with how men and women behave - and Brizendine agrees (she also mentions in her introduction that she was active during the second wave of the feminist movement, so at least I know she's coming from somewhat of a good place).

But back to the scientific stuff, apparently women put their efforts toward creating close relationships and bonds with people; men are more interested in being at the top of their social group. Women are also more adept in communication, speaking more often and faster than men, who can go for hours without verbal exchanges. Hormones play a huge role, as well - especially when a girl enters puberty and estrogen levels surge. Even during a woman's normal menstrual cycle, one week she's sharp, witty and on top of the world - the next, she's slower, irritable, and her self-esteem hangs by a thread. Most women can relate: all of the sudden, your partner thinks you're ugly, your friends hate you, and why did your boss hire you for this job anyway? Some men are quick to label this as completely irrational female craziness - but it's biology.

Now, I know a lot of feminists loathe the word "biology" - it's the anti-feminist explanation for sexism, a way to generalize men and women and hold them to standards for what each sex should be doing. I think completely relying on biology to tell us about men and women is ridiculous, but so is completely ignoring it. As humans on Earth, we don't operate in a vacuum. Culture and society have changed incredibly since the Stone Age - there are certain biological tendencies and behaviors that are probably still present, but maybe we don't quite need anymore for basic survival.

Men and women are inherently different - I will argue that til I'm blue in the face - but where my feminism comes from is the belief that one is not better than the other.

Not again.

2007-10-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

I thought it was rigoddamndiculous when Hillary Clinton's cleavage became big news, so you can imagine how very un-thrilled I am with this.

It's real cute how they try to be balanced by mentioning "Fred Thompson's facial creases" and "the dark circles under Giuliani's eyes," but who's their real bread and butter? "Candidates for Mom of the Year."

Gag.

I better never run into this guy...

2007-10-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

So, this garbage actually made "Best of Craigslist." Not only is it completely sexist and hateful, but it really just sounds like some dude's pathetic attempt at revenge the day after he had his heart broken.

Wah Wah Wah. Quit your whining.

I wasn't sure about posting this at first (why the hell would I want to further publicize this sad, sad piece of crap?), but what the hell. After all, my whole point is to draw attention to sexism that's floating around out there, all comfortable and shit like it's normal...

Thanks to Feministing for original post.

Big girls don't cry

2007-10-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

The beat goes on.

And by "beat," I mean raging sexism and ridiculous double standards.

Many experts would agree that crying is a human reaction - a coping mechanism brought on by certain emotions and feelings. Of course, in a polarized culture such as ours - where everything is black/white, good/evil, right/wrong, male/female - human reations are not going to be viewed the same if they're coming from different sexes.

Apparently, it's now fashionable for men to shed tears in public (just a few!) - but if women do, well then, they're just as crazy and irrational as we always thought they were!

Two words: Bull. Shit. Not that it was any better for men to be viewed as weak if their eyes welled up, but why should something so natural as crying be seen as sensitivity in men and insanity in women?

Remember Ellen DeGeneres' recent outburst of emotion on her talk show? I watched the segment on the Internet and thought, "Wow, she really feels terrible - I hope everything works out." However, comic Bill Maher thought differently; that it's probably not a good idea for womankind to be showing large-scale emotions at a time when one of our own is running for office. "If I was a woman," he said, "I would be embarrassed right now. I would be embarrassed for all womankind."

Embarrassed? Wow. Hear that, ladies? Suck it up - if not for yourselves, for Hillary...because she is a reflection of all women, and we are all a reflection of her capability.

(Just to clarify, that was sarcasm.)

Foxes in the henhouse

2007-10-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Last week, President Bush appointed Susan Orr to head federal family planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Maybe this wouldn't be such a big deal if Orr wasn't quoted as saying contraception is part of "the culture of death."

Yup, here we go again. No surprise that Bush seeks out other nutty die-hard conservatives to oversee federal programs, not because they are by any means qualified - but because they've shown their loyalty to the Grand Old Party. For instance, not only does Orr disapprove of birth control, but she also supports abstinence-only education, was an adjunct professor at televangelist Pat Robertson’s Regent University, and wrote "Real Women Stay Married" back in 2000. In the paper, Orr said that women should "think about focusing our eyes, not upon ourselves, but upon the families we form through marriage."

She sounds like the perfect candidate to head anything related to FAMILY PLANNING. Right.

Weirdo of the day: Phil Kline

2007-10-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Phil Kline, former Kansas state attorney general, is continuing his quest to make life suck for abortion providers. Kline recently filed a slew of felony and misdemeanor charges against Comprehensive Health of Planned Parenthood of Kansas and Mid-Missouri. He claims the health center provided illegal late-term abortions.

Kline has a history of messing with Planned Parenthood. In a previous suit, "he sought the names and personal information of women and girls who had had abortions at the Planned Parenthood clinic and one other medical facility." Um, last time I checked, medical records were private...

On a positive note, it seems most everyone knows Kline is a weirdo. Now a Johnson County district attorney, Kline lost the state attorney general seat to Democrat Paul Morrison. Turns out people weren't too thrilled with the idea of Kline involving evangelical churches in his campaign operation...

Modern Romance

2007-10-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Apparently guys are more into intimacy than we thought...

In a recent study by Catherine Mosher (Duke U.) and Sharon Danoff-Burg (U. of Albany), 237 college undergrads were asked about their priorities when it comes to career goals, romantic relationships, friendships, etc. - and what they would sacrifice for romance.

"Overall, 61 percent of the guys chose a romantic relationship rather than achievement goals, while 51 percent of gals chose romance. The boys and men were particularly more likely to swap a career, education and traveling for 'charming companions'."

Reeeeeeally? Sounds incredibly comforting, since the boys have a nasty reputation for shunning commitment until the possibility of dying old, crusty and alone is all of the sudden pretty freakin' real. But, don't start planning the big day just yet, Bridezilla...

We see from the results that more dudes picked romance - but how they specifically define romance is the real question. Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the U. of Michigan comments, "Maybe for the men they're thinking close romantic relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean long-term commitment of getting married and having children."

So, what is it we're seeing here? Are women evolving past the societal expectation that we'll follow the yellow brick road to old age with a husband, 2.5 children and a white picket fence? Or - is proverbial, old school, Cary Grant-like romance officially dead and been replaced with, "I get horny an awful lot, and I'd love for you to be around"?

I'm not saying marriage is right or wrong, feminist or unfeminist - I believe in people doing what they feel is right for themselves and not stifling a part of their personality because they think they need to fit into a certain role. That being said, about half my friends want to get married (or are already engaged) and half aren't entertaining the thought whatsoever. For my generation, marriage is not so much a rite of passage, but a life choice. Today, you can't seriously date someone and automatically expect that in 5 years, tops, your beau will get down on one knee. If a person does want to marry, though, they probably should find out early on if their partner is on board or not (better now than later, right?). But, when do you even bring up these life goals, and decide if you and Mr./Ms. Right are truly compatible - when most of these goals are so long-term, they're not even relevant?

Yeah, kids - this is the shit you don't see in the movies.

Toot My Horn Tuesday

2007-10-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

My first article for RH Reality Check was published today! Check it out here.

Body love

2007-10-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

This list is from Courtney Martin via Feministing - it's so kick-ass, I just had to post it:

Ten Things You Can Do Right Now to Love Your Body

1. Make the radical choice to commit to healing your relationship with your body.

2. Never diet. Never ever. It is a $31 billion industry that fails 95% of the time. That's just stupid.

3. Reconnect with your authentic hungers. When are you hungry? When are you full? What are you hungry for?

4. Move in ways (African dance, yoga, running, sex...) that make you feel happy instead of adhering to strict fitness regimens.

5. Add a compassionate voice to the chorus in your head.

6. Don't spend money on products made by companies that make you feel inadequate. Duh.

7. Stop hanging out with toxic people that make you feel bad about yourself.

8. Change conversations about weight to conversations about wellbeing.

9. Nominate someone for the REAL Hot 100.

10. Redefine your notion of success to include your own wellness - including joy, fulfillment, resilience, and self-love.

***

Ask any woman - we bond over how much we hate our bodies. Really, it's pretty fucked up. And I don't claim to be above all the crap that tries to keep us hating ourselves - it's something I struggle with, too (especially because I consider myself a feminist, and I feel like I should be past it all). But think about it: a group of women are talking about how much they've eaten this week, how much they hate their thighs, how wide they think their asses are - if there's a woman there who has nothing negative to say about her body, if she's totally comfortable in her own skin, then she's looked at differently. Cause, geez, how could she not have anything negative to say? Who does she think she is?

Why is it weird to be comfortable with our own bodies?? And why is it so fucking normal to hate yourself??

Check out Courtney's book, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body.

Birth control in middle school

2007-10-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

King Middle School will now offer prescription birth control in the student health center, making them the first middle school in the state of Maine to offer a full range of contraception to students in 6th-8th grade.

Students who have parental permission to be treated at the school's health center are eligible to request birth control without notifying their parents.

Although only 2 out of 12 members of the Portland school board voted against offering contraceptives, feelings among parents are mixed. Check out some of the reader comments
following the story in The Portland Press Herald...

Cause college chicks really don't know what they want.

2007-10-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

Apparently, that's what Austin Scott thinks.

The Penn State University football player was charged with raping a woman in his campus apartment on October 5.

Scott told police the two went back to his place after some drinks, and the woman said she was not going to have sex with him. Scott added, "Girls will say that they do not want to have sex with you, but then they get to your room."

Ok, let's clear a few things up here:

1.) If a woman meets you for drinks, that does not mean she wants you to have sex with her.
2.) If a woman gets a little tipsy, that does not mean she wants you to have sex with her.
3.) If a woman says she does not want to have sex with you, that does not mean she really wants to have sex with you.
4.) If a woman watches TV with you while sitting in bed, that does not mean she wants you to have sex with her.
5.) If a woman lets you "cop a feel," that still does not mean she also wants your dick in her.

Do I need to keep going???

Spotlight on teen dating abuse

2007-10-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I'd like to give a shout-out to loveisrespect.org, The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. It's a fantastic resource for teens experiencing intimate partner violence - not to mention their concerned parents, friends and anyone who'd like more information on the subject. Since the site launched last year, their 24-hour helpline has had over 6,118 phone and live chat contacts.

People hear "intimate partner violence" or "domestic violence," and they tend to think of it as an adult issue - but that's not the case. According to loveisrespect.org, 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.

And abuse isn't just physical; it can be mental and emotional - and just as debilitating.

So ladies, make sure your partner treats you well. And forget all the emo bullshit: no one intentionally hurts the one they love.

Did you remember your gender today?

2007-10-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

Khadijah Farmer never expected to be bullied and humiliated at a New York City restaurant.

She, her girlfriend and another friend went out to the Caliente Cab Company after New York's Gay Pride Parade last June. When Farmer left her party to use the women's restroom, a bouncer followed her in, banged on her stall door and demanded she leave. Farmer, who opts for men's suits rather than makeup, attempted to show the bouncer her ID - to prove she was "woman enough" to use the women's room. The employee refused to listen to Farmer, and proceeded to throw her and her friends out.

It's no surprise many people are uncomfortable with ambiguous ways of exhibiting gender, but honestly, I can't see how Farmer was hurting anyone or creating a dangerous atmosphere by being herself. In short: who fucking cares?! Who cares what people wear or how they define themselves, as long as they are comfortable with who they are?

Michael Silverman, staff attorney from the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund of New York City, said it best this morning on the Today show:

"In this case, we believe the fundamental issue is, who gets to decide whether someone’s gender expression is appropriate? Is it Khadijah, or is it every bouncer in a restaurant? Is it every employer or manager who says, ‘Well, would you try a strand of pearls? Maybe that would make you look more feminine. Maybe we’d like you more in the workplace’?"

There's some food for thought.

Guys, please be responsible and pop some pills.

2007-10-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

It takes two to tango, if ya know what I mean (wink, wink). Now, medical researchers are finally applying that old cliche to birth control options. That's right fellas - you will soon have more contraceptive choices than the good old love glove.

Hang on to your pill packs, ladies - the male birth control pill is a-comin'! The manly version of the oral contraceptive could be out on the market within five to seven years. And don't worry dudes, there's no estrogen here - the hormones in the male pill are strictly testosterone and progestin, which apparently lower sperm count when used together.

And pills are only the beginning - implants could be approved even sooner! For those who aren't familiar with implants, I'm not talkin' saline. The women's version, Norplant (which is now off the market and being replaced with Implanon), consists of six little hormone-filled plastic rods about the size of matchsticks. A health care professional inserts them in her upper arm and they're effective for five years. Implanon is one rod, instead of Norplant's six, and stays effective for up to three years.

Ah yes, the joys of pregnancy prevention can now be shared by the men in our life - right on :)

Finally!!

2007-10-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

After much - uh, bullshit - the city of Aurora, Illinois allowed Planned Parenthood of the Chicago Area to open the doors of its new health center on October 1st! For a little more background on the controversy, check out this little beauty from the archives.

Take that, anti-choice weirdos!

I'm not being sexist, this is just funny.

2007-09-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

At a meeting of infectious disease scientists, the "hand-washing police" announced their survey findings on gender and hygeine...

"One-third of men didn't bother to wash after using the bathroom, compared with 12 percent of women, said the researchers who spy on people in public restrooms."

Ew.

Well, duh!

2007-09-14T06:30:00.000-07:00

This seems like a no-brainer - but then again, have you seen all the surgery shit on TV lately?!

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) announced in the September issue of its medical journal that "vaginal rejuvenation" surgeries are not guaranteed to be safe - or, for that matter, necessary.

"Dr. Abbey Berenson, who helped write the guidelines, said some women may be fooled by deceptive marketing practices into thinking they need the surgery because they are somehow abnormal."

Great. Another body part we "need" to be worried about.

Sex, lies and gender roles

2007-09-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

Who knew I’d have some serious archives when I just started this thing?! Really, though – today I’m posting this “essay” (sounds academic, eh?) I wrote a year ago after I finished reading Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy. I cleaned it up and made some edits to reflect acquired knowledge…

She addresses what she calls the "raunch culture" of today: Girls Gone Wild, Playboy, strip clubs, the porn industry, etc. and how women are embracing it all. It's more acceptable (and even considered “cool”) for women to go to strips clubs and be into porn. Stripping and posing nude don’t even carry such a stigma anymore. In fact, it's just the opposite - strippers and porn stars have a huge fan base that includes a large number of women. Back in the day, if a celebrity had a sex tape surface, it would destroy their career - now, their popularity increases tenfold (i.e. Paris Hilton). Posing in Playboy used to be something you had to bounce back from - now, it's something stars do to boost their careers.

With all these changes in the acceptability of the sex industry on the female front, one would say, “Hell yeah we are finally sexually liberated!” But Levy says, not so much.

I think what she’s trying to convey is that women simply acting like men in this regard is attempting to spread sexual liberation with the "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" mentality – which is self-defeating. And she says that supporting this "raunch culture" is still degrading to women even if the supporter is female. This tells women that they need to be "sexy" (adhering to the examples of the perfectly airbrushed role models), but not necessarily derive any sexual pleasure for themselves. Sex has become commodified; packaged and able to be sold. Now, to be "sexy" there’s a slew of stuff you have to buy and procedures you have to sit through in order to meet the standard. Sex is becoming less about mutual pleasure and more about accumulation. What’s disturbing is her chapter on high school students, who had said in interviews that "putting notches on their belts" is what popularity is built on. Sex isn't a source of enjoyment for them, but almost like shopping for new clothes to look better than their peers. Add to this abstinence-only sex education, which tells hormonal adolescents to "just say no" and leaves out information about contraception, birth control, STDs, pregnancy, abortion and good old fashioned masturbation. School is telling them one thing, yet they step outside into the real world and sex is everywhere.

Prime example – The Fox Network. Studies have shown there to be more sexual content on its prime time programs than any of the other biggies (ABC, NBC, etc.) – yet, they REFUSE to run any commercials for condoms. I don’t think I need to explain the pure stupidity of this.

Now, I've never held a stance strongly for or against porn - it can be a handy-dandy tool (wink, wink) and I always kinda figured if a woman wants to strip, be in porn or pose nude – and that's how she feels powerful – then great for her. If we want to break down archaic gender roles, wouldn't that include women exhibiting characteristics that were traditionally thought of as "male" and claiming them as their own? And if that's the case, then why is it such a negative thing for men to exhibit traditionally "feminine" characteristics?

I’m going to sidetrack here and mention some words of wisdom from Feministing.com’s Jessica Valenti. Her book Full Frontal Feminism addresses this very question: What is the worst thing you can call a man? A woman. Think about it: girl, pussy, sissy, bitch – aside from being called a gay man (fag, homo, etc.), why is being called female an ultimate insult? Please discuss.

I would say we are a hell of a lot more liberated sexually then, say the 1950s – but in 2004, half the country voted to ban gay marriage. That doesn't exactly exude sexual liberation to me.

I think it's important to remember that there are so many ways for one to express themselves sexually and different people find different things sexy and appealing. It's part of who we are; no one had to teach us how to feel. But, what's considered sexy in society is very limited. And where’s the fun in that??

Toot My Horn Tuesday

2007-09-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a little piece I just did for Planned Parenthood's website for teens, teenwire.com.

If for no other reason, at least read it 'cause it's on man-boobs.

Britney's "Bulge"

2007-09-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

Ok - I'll be the first to say I'm not a fan of Britney Spears AT all. No one who witnessed her much-anticipated opener for the MTV Video Music Awards can disagree that her performance was fucking terrible.

In the Rules According to Me, recording artists with real tangible talent don't need to lip sync. And maybe I would have even cut Brit some slack if she were putting on some kind of fantabulous dancing extravaganza - but no. She didn't really do much of anything spectacular or sweat-inducing, compared to her previous over-the-top perfomances.

Well, as soon as the celeb news and blogging communities ran out of material to describe her stage presence, the next target was - you guessed it - her weight.

Come the fuck on!! That was actually the one thing about Brit's performance that made me somewhat happy. Ask any normal, everyday woman on the street - Brit is NOT fat - she looks like a real woman now. And, have we miraculously forgotten she's had TWO kids?!

Janice Min, editor of US Weekly, comments:

"In that ensemble, you just can't have an ounce of anything extra. Many women wouldn't eat for days if they were wearing that."

Hmmm. So, if Britney were smarter, she would have skipped a few meals. Darn! (snap)

Next time you fly, remember your frock.

2007-09-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

Since when was there a dress code for air travel??

Funny how women are supposed to "look sexy" wearing short skirts and low-cut shirts - yet when we do, we're inappropriate.

Oh, and the kicker - check out Southwest Airlines' ad campaign from 1972...

Those pesky extremists are at it again.

2007-09-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

Planned Parenthood of the Chicago Area (PP/CA) plans to open the doors of its shiny new health center in Aurora, Illinois this month. This is fantastic news, since so many women are members of the uninsured club, and rely on Planned Parenthood for essential reproductive health care.

Of course, the creepy anti-choicers aren't so pleased. The Chicago area is home to some of the most extreme weirdos of the pro-life movement. Take Joe Scheidler, who founded the Pro-Life Action League (PLAL) back in 1980. He's been referred to as "the Green Beret of the pro-life movement" by Pat Buchanan, and has said, "You can try for 50 years to do it the nice way, or you can do it next week the nasty way."

The Scheidler family and PLAL are currently staging a "40 Days for Life" vigil outside the new clinic. Basically, they're asking their supporters to keep a presence 24/7 for 40 days. It's supposed to be a peaceful protest, with lots of praying. Participants are also encouraged to fast for the 40 days - because apparently, that's how one gets God's attention.

If starving really gets God's attention, I don't think people in Ethiopia would be so skinny.

In addition, Scheidler's son, Eric, has said in reference to the vigil, "We're going to destroy their building peacefully but aggressively."

Makes me feel all warm inside.

On a more hopeful note, Planned Parenthood is asking supporters to sign this petition and have a ribbon donated to the clinic in your name. It only takes a few seconds, and it shows your support for the women of Aurora.

If you can't do the time, better have that kid...

2007-09-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

Journalist/columnist/novelist and oh-so-fucking-cool Anna Quindlen did a piece for Newsweek last month on how right-wing weirdos want abortion to be illegal...but can't seem to give a straight answer when asked about the appropriate penalty for a woman who has the procedure.

As usual, prayer is the answer for everything... (rolls eyes)

This question has taken on a life of its own, and pro-choice advocates across the country are making it a national conversation. The staff at Allentown Women's Center in Pennsylvania has even made their own YouTube video, putting pressure on presidential candidates who support criminalizing abortion services. Love the sarcasm, ladies!

Welcome!

2007-09-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, R4R!

I've been kicking around the idea of starting a meaningful, fun, feminist-issues-oriented blog for a while - and here's what I've given birth to.

The idea of writing this first post has been a bit intimidating for me - what pressure to explain the ideas, content, goals, direction and overall essence that is (will be) this blog! I've come to the conclusion that I can't. No, I'm not being lazy, I'm being practical. No one can look at two infants and say, "This one's gonna to be a optometrist and that one's gonna be a mindless coke head." Nope. They will grow and develop into whatever they will eventually be - and that's all I have to say about R4R at this time. Let's see what the future holds...